26. Chapter II. At His Father’s

The Brothers Karamazov / 卡拉马佐夫兄弟

1First of all, Alyosha went to his father. On the way he remembered that his father had insisted the day before that he should come without his brother Ivan seeing him. “Why so?” Alyosha wondered suddenly. Even if my father has something to say to me alone, why should I go in unseen? Most likely in his excitement yesterday he meant to say something different,” he decided. Yet he was very glad when Marfa Ignatyevna, who opened the garden gate to him (Grigory, it appeared, was ill in bed in the lodge), told him in answer to his question that Ivan Fyodorovitch had gone out two hours ago.

2And my father?”

3He is up, taking his coffee,” Marfa answered somewhat dryly.

4Alyosha went in. The old man was sitting alone at the table wearing slippers and a little old overcoat. He was amusing himself by looking through some accounts, rather inattentively however. He was quite alone in the house, for Smerdyakov too had gone out marketing. Though he had got up early and was trying to put a bold face on it, he looked tired and weak. His forehead, upon which huge purple bruises had come out during the night, was bandaged with a red handkerchief; his nose too had swollen terribly in the night, and some smaller bruises covered it in patches, giving his whole face a peculiarly spiteful and irritable look. The old man was aware of this, and turned a hostile glance on Alyosha as he came in.

5The coffee is cold,” he cried harshly; “I wont offer you any. Ive ordered nothing but a Lenten fish soup today, and I dont invite any one to share it. Why have you come?”

6To find out how you are,” said Alyosha.

7Yes. Besides, I told you to come yesterday. Its all of no consequence. You need not have troubled. But I knew youd come poking in directly.”

8He said this with almost hostile feeling. At the same time he got up and looked anxiously in the lookingglass (perhaps for the fortieth time that morning) at his nose. He began, too, binding his red handkerchief more becomingly on his forehead.

9Reds better. Its just like the hospital in a white one,” he observed sententiously. Well, how are things over there? How is your elder?”

10He is very bad; he may die today,” answered Alyosha. But his father had not listened, and had forgotten his own question at once.

11Ivans gone out,” he said suddenly. He is doing his utmost to carry off Mitya’s betrothed. Thats what he is staying here for,” he added maliciously, and, twisting his mouth, looked at Alyosha.

12Surely he did not tell you so?” asked Alyosha.

13Yes, he did, long ago. Would you believe it, he told me three weeks ago? You dont suppose he too came to murder me, do you? He must have had some object in coming.”

14What do you mean? Why do you say such things?” said Alyosha, troubled.

15He doesn’t ask for money, its true, but yet he wont get a farthing from me. I intend living as long as possible, you may as well know, my dear Alexey Fyodorovitch, and so I need every farthing, and the longer I live, the more I shall need it,” he continued, pacing from one corner of the room to the other, keeping his hands in the pockets of his loose greasy overcoat made of yellow cotton material. I can still pass for a man at five and fifty, but I want to pass for one for another twenty years. As I get older, you know, I shan’t be a pretty object. The wenches wont come to me of their own accord, so I shall want my money. So I am saving up more and more, simply for myself, my dear son Alexey Fyodorovitch. You may as well know. For I mean to go on in my sins to the end, let me tell you. For sin is sweet; all abuse it, but all men live in it, only others do it on the sly, and I openly. And so all the other sinners fall upon me for being so simple. And your paradise, Alexey Fyodorovitch, is not to my taste, let me tell you that; and its not the proper place for a gentleman, your paradise, even if it exists. I believe that I fall asleep and dont wake up again, and thats all. You can pray for my soul if you like. And if you dont want to, dont, damn you! Thats my philosophy. Ivan talked well here yesterday, though we were all drunk. Ivan is a conceited coxcomb, but he has no particular learning ... nor education either. He sits silent and smiles at one without speakingthats what pulls him through.”

16Alyosha listened to him in silence.

17Why wont he talk to me? If he does speak, he gives himself airs. Your Ivan is a scoundrel! And Ill marry Grushenka in a minute if I want to. For if youve money, Alexey Fyodorovitch, you have only to want a thing and you can have it. Thats what Ivan is afraid of, he is on the watch to prevent me getting married and thats why he is egging on Mitya to marry Grushenka himself. He hopes to keep me from Grushenka by that (as though I should leave him my money if I dont marry her!). Besides if Mitya marries Grushenka, Ivan will carry off his rich betrothed, thats what hes reckoning on! He is a scoundrel, your Ivan!”

18How cross you are! Its because of yesterday; you had better lie down,” said Alyosha.

19There! you say that,” the old man observed suddenly, as though it had struck him for the first time, “and I am not angry with you. But if Ivan said it, I should be angry with him. It is only with you I have good moments, else you know I am an illnatured man.”

20You are not illnatured, but distorted,” said Alyosha with a smile.

21Listen. I meant this morning to get that ruffian Mitya locked up and I dont know now what I shall decide about it. Of course in these fashionable days fathers and mothers are looked upon as a prejudice, but even now the law does not allow you to drag your old father about by the hair, to kick him in the face in his own house, and brag of murdering him outrightall in the presence of witnesses. If I liked, I could crush him and could have him locked up at once for what he did yesterday.”

22Then you dont mean to take proceedings?”

23Ivan has dissuaded me. I shouldn’t care about Ivan, but theres another thing.”

24And bending down to Alyosha, he went on in a confidential halfwhisper.

25If I send the ruffian to prison, shell hear of it and run to see him at once. But if she hears that he has beaten me, a weak old man, within an inch of my life, she may give him up and come to me.... For thats her way, everything by contraries. I know her through and through! Wont you have a drop of brandy? Take some cold coffee and Ill pour a quarter of a glass of brandy into it, its delicious, my boy.”

26No, thank you. Ill take that roll with me if I may,” said Alyosha, and taking a halfpenny French roll he put it in the pocket of his cassock. And youd better not have brandy, either,” he suggested apprehensively, looking into the old mans face.

27You are quite right, it irritates my nerves instead of soothing them. Only one little glass. Ill get it out of the cupboard.”

28He unlocked the cupboard, poured out a glass, drank it, then locked the cupboard and put the key back in his pocket.

29Thats enough. One glass wont kill me.”

30You see you are in a better humor now,” said Alyosha, smiling.

31Um! I love you even without the brandy, but with scoundrels I am a scoundrel. Ivan is not going to Tchermashnya—why is that? He wants to spy how much I give Grushenka if she comes. They are all scoundrels! But I dont recognize Ivan, I dont know him at all. Where does he come from? He is not one of us in soul. As though Id leave him anything! I shan’t leave a will at all, you may as well know. And Ill crush Mitya like a beetle. I squash blackbeetles at night with my slipper; they squelch when you tread on them. And your Mitya will squelch too. Your Mitya, for you love him. Yes, you love him and I am not afraid of your loving him. But if Ivan loved him I should be afraid for myself at his loving him. But Ivan loves nobody. Ivan is not one of us. People like Ivan are not our sort, my boy. They are like a cloud of dust. When the wind blows, the dust will be gone.... I had a silly idea in my head when I told you to come today; I wanted to find out from you about Mitya. If I were to hand him over a thousand or maybe two now, would the beggarly wretch agree to take himself off altogether for five years or, better still, thirtyfive, and without Grushenka, and give her up once for all, eh?”

32IIll ask him,” muttered Alyosha. If you would give him three thousand, perhaps he—”

33Thats nonsense! You needn’t ask him now, no need! Ive changed my mind. It was a nonsensical idea of mine. I wont give him anything, not a penny, I want my money myself,” cried the old man, waving his hand. Ill crush him like a beetle without it. Dont say anything to him or else he will begin hoping. Theres nothing for you to do here, you needn’t stay. Is that betrothed of his, Katerina Ivanovna, whom he has kept so carefully hidden from me all this time, going to marry him or not? You went to see her yesterday, I believe?”

34Nothing will induce her to abandon him.”

35There you see how dearly these fine young ladies love a rake and a scoundrel. They are poor creatures I tell you, those pale young ladies, very different fromAh, if I had his youth and the looks I had then (for I was betterlooking than he at eight and twenty) Id have been a conquering hero just as he is. He is a low cad! But he shan’t have Grushenka, anyway, he shan’t! Ill crush him!”

36His anger had returned with the last words.

37You can go. Theres nothing for you to do here today,” he snapped harshly.

38Alyosha went up to say goodby to him, and kissed him on the shoulder.

39Whats that for?” The old man was a little surprised. We shall see each other again, or do you think we shan’t?”

40Not at all, I didn’t mean anything.”

41Nor did I, I did not mean anything,” said the old man, looking at him. Listen, listen,” he shouted after him, “make haste and come again and Ill have a fish soup for you, a fine one, not like today. Be sure to come! Come tomorrow, do you hear, tomorrow!”

42And as soon as Alyosha had gone out of the door, he went to the cupboard again and poured out another halfglass.

43I wont have more!” he muttered, clearing his throat, and again he locked the cupboard and put the key in his pocket. Then he went into his bedroom, lay down on the bed, exhausted, and in one minute he was asleep.