21. Chapter VIII. Over The Brandy

The Brothers Karamazov / 卡拉马佐夫兄弟

1The controversy was over. But, strange to say, Fyodor Pavlovitch, who had been so gay, suddenly began frowning. He frowned and gulped brandy, and it was already a glass too much.

2Get along with you, Jesuits!” he cried to the servants. Go away, Smerdyakov. Ill send you the gold piece I promised you today, but be off! Dont cry, Grigory. Go to Marfa. Shell comfort you and put you to bed. The rascals wont let us sit in peace after dinner,” he snapped peevishly, as the servants promptly withdrew at his word.

3“Smerdyakov always pokes himself in now, after dinner. Its you hes so interested in. What have you done to fascinate him?” he added to Ivan.

4Nothing whatever,” answered Ivan. Hes pleased to have a high opinion of me; hes a lackey and a mean soul. Raw material for revolution, however, when the time comes.”

5For revolution?”

6There will be others and better ones. But there will be some like him as well. His kind will come first, and better ones after.”

7And when will the time come?”

8The rocket will go off and fizzle out, perhaps. The peasants are not very fond of listening to these soupmakers, so far.”

9Ah, brother, but a Balaam’s ass like that thinks and thinks, and the devil knows where he gets to.”

10Hes storing up ideas,” said Ivan, smiling.

11You see, I know he cant bear me, nor any one else, even you, though you fancy that he has a high opinion of you. Worse still with Alyosha, he despises Alyosha. But he doesn’t steal, thats one thing, and hes not a gossip, he holds his tongue, and doesn’t wash our dirty linen in public. He makes capital fish pasties too. But, damn him, is he worth talking about so much?”

12Of course he isn’t.”

13And as for the ideas he may be hatching, the Russian peasant, generally speaking, needs thrashing. That Ive always maintained. Our peasants are swindlers, and dont deserve to be pitied, and its a good thing theyre still flogged sometimes. Russia is rich in birches. If they destroyed the forests, it would be the ruin of Russia. I stand up for the clever people. Weve left off thrashing the peasants, weve grown so clever, but they go on thrashing themselves. And a good thing too. ‘For with what measure ye mete it shall be measured to you again,’ or how does it go? Anyhow, it will be measured. But Russias all swinishness. My dear, if you only knew how I hate Russia.... That is, not Russia, but all this vice! But maybe I mean Russia. Tout cela cest de la cochonnerie.... Do you know what I like? I like wit.”

14Youve had another glass. Thats enough.”

15Wait a bit. Ill have one more, and then another, and then Ill stop. No, stay, you interrupted me. At Mokroe I was talking to an old man, and he told me: ‘Theres nothing we like so much as sentencing girls to be thrashed, and we always give the lads the job of thrashing them. And the girl he has thrashed today, the young man will ask in marriage tomorrow. So it quite suits the girls, too,’ he said. Theres a set of de Sades for you! But its clever, anyway. Shall we go over and have a look at it, eh? Alyosha, are you blushing? Dont be bashful, child. Im sorry I didn’t stay to dinner at the Superiors and tell the monks about the girls at Mokroe. Alyosha, dont be angry that I offended your Superior this morning. I lost my temper. If there is a God, if He exists, then, of course, Im to blame, and I shall have to answer for it. But if there isn’t a God at all, what do they deserve, your fathers? Its not enough to cut their heads off, for they keep back progress. Would you believe it, Ivan, that that lacerates my sentiments? No, you dont believe it as I see from your eyes. You believe what people say, that Im nothing but a buffoon. Alyosha, do you believe that Im nothing but a buffoon?”

16No, I dont believe it.”

17And I believe you dont, and that you speak the truth. You look sincere and you speak sincerely. But not Ivan. Ivans supercilious.... Id make an end of your monks, though, all the same. Id take all that mystic stuff and suppress it, once for all, all over Russia, so as to bring all the fools to reason. And the gold and the silver that would flow into the mint!”

18But why suppress it?” asked Ivan.

19That Truth may prevail. Thats why.”

20Well, if Truth were to prevail, you know, youd be the first to be robbed and suppressed.”

21Ah! I dare say youre right. Ah, Im an ass!” burst out Fyodor Pavlovitch, striking himself lightly on the forehead. Well, your monastery may stand then, Alyosha, if thats how it is. And we clever people will sit snug and enjoy our brandy. You know, Ivan, it must have been so ordained by the Almighty Himself. Ivan, speak, is there a God or not? Stay, speak the truth, speak seriously. Why are you laughing again?”

22Im laughing that you should have made a clever remark just now about Smerdyakov’s belief in the existence of two saints who could move mountains.”

23Why, am I like him now, then?”

24Very much.”

25Well, that shows Im a Russian, too, and I have a Russian characteristic. And you may be caught in the same way, though you are a philosopher. Shall I catch you? What do you bet that Ill catch you tomorrow. Speak, all the same, is there a God, or not? Only, be serious. I want you to be serious now.”

26No, there is no God.”

27“Alyosha, is there a God?”

28There is.”

29Ivan, and is there immortality of some sort, just a little, just a tiny bit?”

30There is no immortality either.”

31None at all?”

32None at all.”

33Theres absolute nothingness then. Perhaps there is just something? Anything is better than nothing!”

34Absolute nothingness.”

35“Alyosha, is there immortality?”

36There is.”

37God and immortality?”

38God and immortality. In God is immortality.”

39Hm! Its more likely Ivans right. Good Lord! to think what faith, what force of all kinds, man has lavished for nothing, on that dream, and for how many thousand years. Who is it laughing at man? Ivan! For the last time, once for all, is there a God or not? I ask for the last time!”

40And for the last time there is not.”

41Who is laughing at mankind, Ivan?”

42It must be the devil,” said Ivan, smiling.

43And the devil? Does he exist?”

44No, theres no devil either.”

45Its a pity. Damn it all, what wouldn’t I do to the man who first invented God! Hanging on a bitter aspen tree would be too good for him.”

46There would have been no civilization if they hadn’t invented God.”

47“Wouldn’t there have been? Without God?”

48No. And there would have been no brandy either. But I must take your brandy away from you, anyway.”

49Stop, stop, stop, dear boy, one more little glass. Ive hurt Alyosha’s feelings. Youre not angry with me, Alyosha? My dear little Alexey!”

50No, I am not angry. I know your thoughts. Your heart is better than your head.”

51My heart better than my head, is it? Oh, Lord! And that from you. Ivan, do you love Alyosha?”

52Yes.”

53You must love him” (Fyodor Pavlovitch was by this time very drunk). Listen, Alyosha, I was rude to your elder this morning. But I was excited. But theres wit in that elder, dont you think, Ivan?”

54Very likely.”

55There is, there is. Il y a du Piron ‐dedans. Hes a Jesuit, a Russian one, that is. As hes an honorable person theres a hidden indignation boiling within him at having to pretend and affect holiness.”

56But, of course, he believes in God.”

57Not a bit of it. Didn’t you know? Why, he tells every one so, himself. That is, not every one, but all the clever people who come to him. He said straight out to Governor Schultz not long ago: ‘Credo, but I dont know in what.’ ”

58Really?”

59He really did. But I respect him. Theres something of Mephistopheles about him, or rather ofThe hero of our time’ ... Arbenin, or whats his name?... You see, hes a sensualist. Hes such a sensualist that I should be afraid for my daughter or my wife if she went to confess to him. You know, when he begins telling stories.... The year before last he invited us to tea, tea with liqueur (the ladies send him liqueur), and began telling us about old times till we nearly split our sides.... Especially how he once cured a paralyzed woman. ‘If my legs were not bad I know a dance I could dance you,’ he said. What do you say to that? ‘Ive plenty of tricks in my time,’ said he. He did Dernidov, the merchant, out of sixty thousand.”

60What, he stole it?”

61He brought him the money as a man he could trust, saying, ‘Take care of it for me, friend, therell be a police search at my place tomorrow.’ And he kept it. ‘You have given it to the Church,’ he declared. I said to him: ‘Youre a scoundrel,’ I said. ‘No,’ said he, ‘Im not a scoundrel, but Im broadminded.’ But that wasn’t he, that was some one else. Ive muddled him with some one else ... without noticing it. Come, another glass and thats enough. Take away the bottle, Ivan. Ive been telling lies. Why didn’t you stop me, Ivan, and tell me I was lying?”

62I knew youd stop of yourself.”

63Thats a lie. You did it from spite, from simple spite against me. You despise me. You have come to me and despised me in my own house.”

64Well, Im going away. Youve had too much brandy.”

65Ive begged you for Christs sake to go to Tchermashnya for a day or two, and you dont go.”

66Ill go tomorrow if youre so set upon it.”

67You wont go. You want to keep an eye on me. Thats what you want, spiteful fellow. Thats why you wont go.”

68The old man persisted. He had reached that state of drunkenness when the drunkard who has till then been inoffensive tries to pick a quarrel and to assert himself.

69Why are you looking at me? Why do you look like that? Your eyes look at me and say, ‘You ugly drunkard!’ Your eyes are mistrustful. Theyre contemptuous.... Youve come here with some design. Alyosha, here, looks at me and his eyes shine. Alyosha doesn’t despise me. Alexey, you mustn’t love Ivan.”

70Dont be illtempered with my brother. Leave off attacking him,” Alyosha said emphatically.

71Oh, all right. Ugh, my head aches. Take away the brandy, Ivan. Its the third time Ive told you.”

72He mused, and suddenly a slow, cunning grin spread over his face.

73Dont be angry with a feeble old man, Ivan. I know you dont love me, but dont be angry all the same. Youve nothing to love me for. You go to Tchermashnya. Ill come to you myself and bring you a present. Ill show you a little wench there. Ive had my eye on her a long time. Shes still running about barefoot. Dont be afraid of barefooted wenchesdont despise themtheyre pearls!”

74And he kissed his hand with a smack.

75To my thinking,” he revived at once, seeming to grow sober the instant he touched on his favorite topic. To my thinking ... Ah, you boys! You children, little suckingpigs, to my thinking ... I never thought a woman ugly in my lifethats been my rule! Can you understand that? How could you understand it? Youve milk in your veins, not blood. Youre not out of your shells yet. My rule has been that you can always find something devilishly interesting in every woman that you wouldn’t find in any other. Only, one must know how to find it, thats the point! Thats a talent! To my mind there are no ugly women. The very fact that she is a woman is half the battle ... but how could you understand that? Even in vieilles filles, even in them you may discover something that makes you simply wonder that men have been such fools as to let them grow old without noticing them. Barefooted girls or unattractive ones, you must take by surprise. Didn’t you know that? You must astound them till theyre fascinated, upset, ashamed that such a gentleman should fall in love with such a little slut. Its a jolly good thing that there always are and will be masters and slaves in the world, so there always will be a little maidofallwork and her master, and you know, thats all thats needed for happiness. Stay ... listen, Alyosha, I always used to surprise your mother, but in a different way. I paid no attention to her at all, but all at once, when the minute came, Id be all devotion to her, crawl on my knees, kiss her feet, and I always, alwaysI remember it as though it were todayreduced her to that tinkling, quiet, nervous, queer little laugh. It was peculiar to her. I knew her attacks always used to begin like that. The next day she would begin shrieking hysterically, and this little laugh was not a sign of delight, though it made a very good counterfeit. Thats the great thing, to know how to take every one. Once Belyavsky—he was a handsome fellow, and richused to like to come here and hang about hersuddenly gave me a slap in the face in her presence. And shesuch a mild sheepwhy, I thought she would have knocked me down for that blow. How she set on me! ‘Youre beaten, beaten now,’ she said. ‘Youve taken a blow from him. You have been trying to sell me to him,’ she said.... ‘And how dared he strike you in my presence! Dont dare come near me again, never, never! Run at once, challenge him to a duel!’... I took her to the monastery then to bring her to her senses. The holy Fathers prayed her back to reason. But I swear, by God, Alyosha, I never insulted the poor crazy girl! Only once, perhaps, in the first year; then she was very fond of praying. She used to keep the feasts of Our Lady particularly and used to turn me out of her room then. Ill knock that mysticism out of her, thought I! ‘Here,’ said I, ‘you see your holy image. Here it is. Here I take it down. You believe its miraculous, but here, Ill spit on it directly and nothing will happen to me for it!’... When she saw it, good Lord! I thought she would kill me. But she only jumped up, wrung her hands, then suddenly hid her face in them, began trembling all over and fell on the floor ... fell all of a heap. Alyosha, Alyosha, whats the matter?”

76The old man jumped up in alarm. From the time he had begun speaking about his mother, a change had gradually come over Alyosha’s face. He flushed crimson, his eyes glowed, his lips quivered. The old sot had gone spluttering on, noticing nothing, till the moment when something very strange happened to Alyosha. Precisely what he was describing in the crazy woman was suddenly repeated with Alyosha. He jumped up from his seat exactly as his mother was said to have done, wrung his hands, hid his face in them, and fell back in his chair, shaking all over in an hysterical paroxysm of sudden violent, silent weeping. His extraordinary resemblance to his mother particularly impressed the old man.

77Ivan, Ivan! Water, quickly! Its like her, exactly as she used to be then, his mother. Spurt some water on him from your mouth, thats what I used to do to her. Hes upset about his mother, his mother,” he muttered to Ivan.

78But she was my mother, too, I believe, his mother. Was she not?” said Ivan, with uncontrolled anger and contempt. The old man shrank before his flashing eyes. But something very strange had happened, though only for a second; it seemed really to have escaped the old mans mind that Alyosha’s mother actually was the mother of Ivan too.

79Your mother?” he muttered, not understanding. “What do you mean? What mother are you talking about? Was she?... Why, damn it! of course she was yours too! Damn it! My mind has never been so darkened before. Excuse me, why, I was thinking, Ivan.... He he he!” He stopped. A broad, drunken, halfsenseless grin overspread his face.

80At that moment a fearful noise and clamor was heard in the hall, there were violent shouts, the door was flung open, and Dmitri burst into the room. The old man rushed to Ivan in terror.

81Hell kill me! Hell kill me! Dont let him get at me!” he screamed, clinging to the skirt of Ivans coat.