12. THE WHIRLIGIG OF LIFE

Whirligigs

1Justice-of-the-Peace Benaja Widdup sat in the door of his office smoking his elder-stem pipe. Half-way to the zenith the Cumberland range rose blue-gray in the afternoon haze. A speckled hen swaggered down the main street of thesettlement,” cackling foolishly.

2Up the road came a sound of creaking axles, and then a slow cloud of dust, and then a bull-cart bearing Ransie Bilbro and his wife. The cart stopped at the Justices door, and the two climbed down. Ransie was a narrow six feet of sallow brown skin and yellow hair. The imperturbability of the mountains hung upon him like a suit of armour. The woman was calicoed, angled, snuff-brushed, and weary with unknown desires. Through it all gleamed a faint protest of cheated youth unconscious of its loss.

3The Justice of the Peace slipped his feet into his shoes, for the sake of dignity, and moved to let them enter.

4We-all,” said the woman, in a voice like the wind blowing through pine boughs, “wants a divo’ce.” She looked at Ransie to see if he noted any flaw or ambiguity or evasion or partiality or self-partisanship in her statement of their business.

5A divo’ce,” repeated Ransie, with a solemn nod. We-all cant git along together nohow. Its lonesome enough fur to live in the mountins when a man and a woman keers fur one another. But when shes a-spittin’ like a wildcat or a-sullenin’ like a hoot-owl in the cabin, a man ain’t got no call to live with her.”

6When hes a no-’count varmint,” said the woman, “without any especial warmth, a-traipsin’ along of scalawags and moonshiners and a-layin’ on his back pizen ’ith con whiskey, and a-pesterin’ folks with a pack ohungry, triflin’ houn’s to feed!”

7When she keeps a-throwin’ skillet lids,” came Ransie’s antiphony, “and slings b’ilin’ water on the best coon-dog in the Cumberlands, and sets herself agin’ cookin’ a mans victuals, and keeps him awake onights accusin’ him of a sight of doin’s!”

8When hes al’ays a-fightin’ the revenues, and gits a hard name in the mountins fur a mean man, whos gwine to be able fur to sleep onights?”

9The Justice of the Peace stirred deliberately to his duties. He placed his one chair and a wooden stool for his petitioners. He opened his book of statutes on the table and scanned the index. Presently he wiped his spectacles and shifted his inkstand.

10The law and the statutes,” said he, “air silent on the subjeck of divo’ce as fur as the jurisdiction of this cot air concerned. But, accordin’ to equity and the Constitution and the golden rule, its a bad barg’in that cant run both ways. If a justice of the peace can marry a couple, its plain that he is bound to be able to divo’ceem. This here office will issue a decree of divo’ce and abide by the decision of the Supreme Cot to hold it good.”

11Ransie Bilbro drew a small tobacco-bag from his trousers pocket. Out of this he shook upon the table a five-dollar note. Sold a b’arskin and two foxes fur that,” he remarked. Its all the money we got.”

12The regular price of a divo’ce in this cot,” said the Justice, “air five dollars.” He stuffed the bill into the pocket of his homespun vest with a deceptive air of indifference. With much bodily toil and mental travail he wrote the decree upon half a sheet of foolscap, and then copied it upon the other. Ransie Bilbro and his wife listened to his reading of the document that was to give them freedom:

13Know all men by these presents that Ransie Bilbro and his wife, Ariela Bilbro, this day personally appeared before me and promises that hereinafter they will neither love, honour, nor obey each other, neither for better nor worse, being of sound mind and body, and accept summons for divorce according to the peace and dignity of the State. Herein fail not, so help you God. Benaja Widdup, justice of the peace in and for the county of Piedmont, State of Tennessee.”

14The Justice was about to hand one of the documents to Ransie. The voice of Ariela delayed the transfer. Both men looked at her. Their dull masculinity was confronted by something sudden and unexpected in the woman.

15Judge, dont you give him that air paper yit. ’Tain’t all settled, nohow. I got to have my rights first. I got to have my ali-money. ’Tain’t no kind of a way to do fur a man to divo’ce his wife ’thout her havin’ a cent fur to do with. Im a-layin’ off to be a-goin’ up to brother Eds up on Hogback Mountin. Im bound fur to hev a par of shoes and some snuff and things besides. Ef Rance kin affo’d a divo’ce, let him pay me ali-money.”

16Ransie Bilbro was stricken to dumb perplexity. There had been no previous hint of alimony. Women were always bringing up startling and unlooked-for issues.

17Justice Benaja Widdup felt that the point demanded judicial decision. The authorities were also silent on the subject of alimony. But the womans feet were bare. The trail to Hogback Mountain was steep and flinty.

18“Ariela Bilbro,” he asked, in official tones, “how much did youlow would be good and sufficient ali-money in the case befo’ the cot.”

19Ilowed,” she answered, “fur the shoes and all, to say five dollars. That ain’t much fur ali-money, but I reckon thatll git me to up brother Eds.”

20The amount,” said the Justice, “air not onreasonable. Ransie Bilbro, you air ordered by the cot to pay the plaintiff the sum of five dollars befo’ the decree of divo’ce air issued.”

21I hain’t no momoney,” breathed Ransie, heavily. I done paid you all I had.”

22Otherwise,” said the Justice, looking severely over his spectacles, “you air in contempt of cot.”

23I reckon if you gimme till to-morrow,” pleaded the husband, “I mout be able to rake or scrape it up somewhars. I never looked for to be a-payin’ no ali-money.”

24The case air adjourned,” said Benaja Widdup, “till to-morrow, when you-all will present yoselves and obey the order of the cot. Followin’ of which the decrees of divo’ce will be delivered.” He sat down in the door and began to loosen a shoestring.

25We mout as well go down to Uncle Ziah’s,” decided Ransie, “and spend the night.” He climbed into the cart on one side, and Ariela climbed in on the other. Obeying the flap of his rope, the little red bull slowly came around on a tack, and the cart crawled away in the nimbus arising from its wheels.

26Justice-of-the-peace Benaja Widdup smoked his elder-stem pipe. Late in the afternoon he got his weekly paper, and read it until the twilight dimmed its lines. Then he lit the tallow candle on his table, and read until the moon rose, marking the time for supper. He lived in the double log cabin on the slope near the girdled poplar. Going home to supper he crossed a little branch darkened by a laurel thicket. The dark figure of a man stepped from the laurels and pointed a rifle at his breast. His hat was pulled down low, and something covered most of his face.

27I want yomoney,” said the figure, “’thout any talk. Im gettin’ nervous, and my fingers a-wabblin’ on this here trigger.”

28Ive only got f-f-five dollars,” said the Justice, producing it from his vest pocket.

29Roll it up,” came the order, “and stick it in the end of this here gun-barl.”

30The bill was crisp and new. Even fingers that were clumsy and trembling found little difficulty in making a spill of it and inserting it (this with less ease) into the muzzle of the rifle.

31Now I reckon you kin be goin’ along,” said the robber.

32The Justice lingered not on his way.

33The next day came the little red bull, drawing the cart to the office door. Justice Benaja Widdup had his shoes on, for he was expecting the visit. In his presence Ransie Bilbro handed to his wife a five-dollar bill. The officials eye sharply viewed it. It seemed to curl up as though it had been rolled and inserted into the end of a gun-barrel. But the Justice refrained from comment. It is true that other bills might be inclined to curl. He handed each one a decree of divorce. Each stood awkwardly silent, slowly folding the guarantee of freedom. The woman cast a shy glance full of constraint at Ransie.

34I reckon youll be goin’ back up to the cabin,” she said, along ’ith the bull-cart. Theres bread in the tin box settin’ on the shelf. I put the bacon in the b’ilin’-pot to keep the hounds from gittinit. Dont forget to wind the clock to-night.

35You air a-goin’ to your brother Eds?” asked Ransie, with fine unconcern.

36I was ’lowin’ to get along up thar afore night. I ain’t sayin’ as theyll pester theyselves any to make me welcome, but I hain’t nowhar else fur to go. Its a right smart ways, and I reckon I better be goin’. Ill be a-sayin’ good-bye, Ranse—that is, if you keer fur to say so.”

37I dont know as anybodys a hound dog,” said Ransie, in a martyrs voice, “fur to not want to say good-bye—’less you air so anxious to git away that you dont want me to say it.”

38Ariela was silent. She folded the five-dollar bill and her decree carefully, and placed them in the bosom of her dress. Benaja Widdup watched the money disappear with mournful eyes behind his spectacles.

39And then with his next words he achieved rank (as his thoughts ran) with either the great crowd of the worlds sympathizers or the little crowd of its great financiers.

40Be kind olonesome in the old cabin to-night, Ranse,” he said.

41Ransie Bilbro stared out at the Cumberlands, clear blue now in the sunlight. He did not look at Ariela.

42Ilow it might be lonesome,” he said; “but when folks gits mad and wants a divo’ce, you cant make folks stay.”

43Theres others wanted a divo’ce,” said Ariela, speaking to the wooden stool. Besides, nobody dont want nobody to stay.”

44Nobody never said they didn’t.”

45Nobody never said they did. I reckon I better start on now to brother Eds.”

46Nobody cant wind that old clock.”

47Want me to go back along ’ith you in the cart and wind it fur you, Ranse?”

48The mountaineers countenance was proof against emotion. But he reached out a big hand and enclosed Ariela’s thin brown one. Her soul peeped out once through her impassive face, hallowing it.

49Them hounds shan’t pester you no more,” said Ransie. I reckon I been mean and low down. You wind that clock, Ariela.”

50My heart hits in that cabin, Ranse,” she whispered, “along ’ith you. I aint a-goin’ to git mad no more. Le’s be startin’, Ranse, sos we kin git home by sundown.”

51Justice-of-the-peace Benaja Widdup interposed as they started for the door, forgetting his presence.

52In the name of the State of Tennessee,” he said, “I forbid you-all to be a-defyin’ of its laws and statutes. This cot is mothan willin’ and full of joy to see the clouds of discord and misunderstandin’ rollin’ away from two lovin’ hearts, but it air the duty of the cot to p’eserve the morals and integrity of the State. The cot reminds you that you air no longer man and wife, but air divo’ced by regular decree, and as such air not entitled to the benefits and ’purtenances of the mattermonal estate.”

53Ariela caught Ransie’s arm. Did those words mean that she must lose him now when they had just learned the lesson of life?

54But the cot air prepared,” went on the Justice, “fur to remove the disabilities set up by the decree of divo’ce. The cot air on hand to perform the solemn ceremony of marri’ge, thus fixin’ things up and enablin’ the parties in the case to resume the honour’ble and elevatin’ state of mattermony which they desires. The fee fur performin’ said ceremony will be, in this case, to wit, five dollars.”

55Ariela caught the gleam of promise in his words. Swiftly her hand went to her bosom. Freely as an alighting dove the bill fluttered to the Justices table. Her sallow cheek coloured as she stood hand in hand with Ransie and listened to the reuniting words.

56Ransie helped her into the cart, and climbed in beside her. The little red bull turned once more, and they set out, hand-clasped, for the mountains.

57Justice-of-the-peace Benaja Widdup sat in his door and took off his shoes. Once again he fingered the bill tucked down in his vest pocket. Once again he smoked his elder-stem pipe. Once again the speckled hen swaggered down the main street of thesettlement,” cackling foolishly.