2. CHAPTER I. THE YOUNG ADVENTURERS, LTD.

The Secret Adversary / 暗藏杀机 / 秘密对手

1Tommy, old thing!”

2Tuppence, old bean!”

3The two young people greeted each other affectionately, and momentarily blocked the Dover Street Tube exit in doing so. The adjectiveoldwas misleading. Their united ages would certainly not have totalled forty-five.

4Not seen you for simply centuries,” continued the young man. Where are you off to? Come and chew a bun with me. Were getting a bit unpopular hereblocking the gangway as it were. Lets get out of it.”

5The girl assenting, they started walking down Dover Street towards Piccadilly.

6Now then,” said Tommy, “where shall we go?”

7The very faint anxiety which underlay his tone did not escape the astute ears of Miss Prudence Cowley, known to her intimate friends for some mysterious reason asTuppence.” She pounced at once.

8Tommy, youre stony!”

9Not a bit of it,” declared Tommy unconvincingly. Rolling in cash.”

10You always were a shocking liar,” said Tuppence severely, “though you did once persuade Sister Greenbank that the doctor had ordered you beer as a tonic, but forgotten to write it on the chart. Do you remember?”

11Tommy chuckled.

12I should think I did! Wasn’t the old cat in a rage when she found out? Not that she was a bad sort really, old Mother Greenbank! Good old hospitaldemobbed like everything else, I suppose?”

13Tuppence sighed.

14Yes. You too?”

15Tommy nodded.

16Two months ago.”

17Gratuity?” hinted Tuppence.

18Spent.”

19Oh, Tommy!”

20No, old thing, not in riotous dissipation. No such luck! The cost of livingordinary plain, or garden living nowadays is, I assure you, if you do not know——”

21My dear child,” interrupted Tuppence, “there is nothing I do not know about the cost of living. Here we are at Lyons’, and we will each of us pay for our own. Thats it!” And Tuppence led the way upstairs.

22The place was full, and they wandered about looking for a table, catching odds and ends of conversation as they did so.

23Anddo you know, she sat down and cried when I told her she couldn’t have the flat after all.” “It was simply a bargain, my dear! Just like the one Mabel Lewis brought from Paris——”

24Funny scraps one does overhear,” murmured Tommy. I passed two Johnnies in the street to-day talking about some one called Jane Finn. Did you ever hear such a name?”

25But at that moment two elderly ladies rose and collected parcels, and Tuppence deftly ensconced herself in one of the vacant seats.

26Tommy ordered tea and buns. Tuppence ordered tea and buttered toast.

27And mind the tea comes in separate teapots,” she added severely.

28Tommy sat down opposite her. His bared head revealed a shock of exquisitely slicked-back red hair. His face was pleasantly uglynondescript, yet unmistakably the face of a gentleman and a sportsman. His brown suit was well cut, but perilously near the end of its tether.

29They were an essentially modern-looking couple as they sat there. Tuppence had no claim to beauty, but there was character and charm in the elfin lines of her little face, with its determined chin and large, wide-apart grey eyes that looked mistily out from under straight, black brows. She wore a small bright green toque over her black bobbed hair, and her extremely short and rather shabby skirt revealed a pair of uncommonly dainty ankles. Her appearance presented a valiant attempt at smartness.

30The tea came at last, and Tuppence, rousing herself from a fit of meditation, poured it out.

31Now then,” said Tommy, taking a large bite of bun, “lets get up-to-date. Remember, I havent seen you since that time in hospital in 1916.”

32Very well.” Tuppence helped herself liberally to buttered toast. Abridged biography of Miss Prudence Cowley, fifth daughter of Archdeacon Cowley of Little Missendell, Suffolk. Miss Cowley left the delights (and drudgeries) of her home life early in the war and came up to London, where she entered an officershospital. First month: Washed up six hundred and forty-eight plates every day. Second month: Promoted to drying aforesaid plates. Third month: Promoted to peeling potatoes. Fourth month: Promoted to cutting bread and butter. Fifth month: Promoted one floor up to duties of wardmaid with mop and pail. Sixth month: Promoted to waiting at table. Seventh month: Pleasing appearance and nice manners so striking that am promoted to waiting on the Sisters! Eighth month: Slight check in career. Sister Bond ate Sister Westhaven’s egg! Grand row! Wardmaid clearly to blame! Inattention in such important matters cannot be too highly censured. Mop and pail again! How are the mighty fallen! Ninth month: Promoted to sweeping out wards, where I found a friend of my childhood in Lieutenant Thomas Beresford (bow, Tommy!), whom I had not seen for five long years. The meeting was affecting! Tenth month: Reproved by matron for visiting the pictures in company with one of the patients, namely: the aforementioned Lieutenant Thomas Beresford. Eleventh and twelfth months: Parlourmaid duties resumed with entire success. At the end of the year left hospital in a blaze of glory. After that, the talented Miss Cowley drove successively a trade delivery van, a motor-lorry and a general! The last was the pleasantest. He was quite a young general!”

33What blighter was that?” inquired Tommy. Perfectly sickening the way those brass hats drove from the War Office to the Savoy, and from the Savoy to the War Office!”

34Ive forgotten his name now,” confessed Tuppence. To resume, that was in a way the apex of my career. I next entered a Government office. We had several very enjoyable tea parties. I had intended to become a land girl, a postwoman, and a bus conductress by way of rounding off my careerbut the Armistice intervened! I clung to the office with the true limpet touch for many long months, but, alas, I was combed out at last. Since then Ive been looking for a job. Now thenyour turn.”

35Theres not so much promotion in mine,” said Tommy regretfully, “and a great deal less variety. I went out to France again, as you know. Then they sent me to Mesopotamia, and I got wounded for the second time, and went into hospital out there. Then I got stuck in Egypt till the Armistice happened, kicked my heels there some time longer, and, as I told you, finally got demobbed. And, for ten long, weary months Ive been job hunting! There aren’t any jobs! And, if there were, they wouldn’t giveem to me. What good am I? What do I know about business? Nothing.”

36Tuppence nodded gloomily.

37What about the colonies?” she suggested.

38Tommy shook his head.

39I shouldn’t like the coloniesand Im perfectly certain they wouldn’t like me!”

40Rich relations?”

41Again Tommy shook his head.

42Oh, Tommy, not even a great-aunt?”

43Ive got an old uncle whos more or less rolling, but hes no good.”

44Why not?”

45Wanted to adopt me once. I refused.”

46I think I remember hearing about it,” said Tuppence slowly. You refused because of your mother——”

47Tommy flushed.

48Yes, it would have been a bit rough on the mater. As you know, I was all she had. Old boy hated herwanted to get me away from her. Just a bit of spite.”

49Your mothers dead, isn’t she?” said Tuppence gently.

50Tommy nodded.

51Tuppences large grey eyes looked misty.

52Youre a good sort, Tommy. I always knew it.”

53Rot!” said Tommy hastily. Well, thats my position. Im just about desperate.”

54So am I! Ive hung out as long as I could. Ive touted round. Ive answered advertisements. Ive tried every mortal blessed thing. Ive screwed and saved and pinched! But its no good. I shall have to go home!”

55Dont you want to?”

56Of course I dont want to! Whats the good of being sentimental? Fathers a dearIm awfully fond of himbut youve no idea how I worry him! He has that delightful early Victorian view that short skirts and smoking are immoral. You can imagine what a thorn in the flesh I am to him! He just heaved a sigh of relief when the war took me off. You see, there are seven of us at home. Its awful! All housework and mothersmeetings! I have always been the changeling. I dont want to go back, butoh, Tommy, what else is there to do?”

57Tommy shook his head sadly. There was a silence, and then Tuppence burst out:

58Money, money, money! I think about money morning, noon and night! I dare say its mercenary of me, but there it is!”

59Same here,” agreed Tommy with feeling.

60Ive thought over every imaginable way of getting it too,” continued Tuppence. There are only three! To be left it, to marry it, or to make it. First is ruled out. I havent got any rich elderly relatives. Any relatives I have are in homes for decayed gentlewomen! I always help old ladies over crossings, and pick up parcels for old gentlemen, in case they should turn out to be eccentric millionaires. But not one of them has ever asked me my nameand quite a lot never saidThank you.’”

61There was a pause.

62Of course,” resumed Tuppence, “marriage is my best chance. I made up my mind to marry money when I was quite young. Any thinking girl would! Im not sentimental, you know.” She paused. Come now, you cant say Im sentimental,” she added sharply.

63Certainly not,” agreed Tommy hastily. No one would ever think of sentiment in connection with you.”

64Thats not very polite,” replied Tuppence. But I dare say you mean it all right. Well, there it is! Im ready and willingbut I never meet any rich men! All the boys I know are about as hard up as I am.”

65What about the general?” inquired Tommy.

66I fancy he keeps a bicycle shop in time of peace,” explained Tuppence. No, there it is! Now you could marry a rich girl.”

67Im like you. I dont know any.”

68That doesn’t matter. You can always get to know one. Now, if I see a man in a fur coat come out of the Ritz I cant rush up to him and say: ‘Look here, youre rich. Id like to know you.’”

69Do you suggest that I should do that to a similarly garbed female?”

70Dont be silly. You tread on her foot, or pick up her handkerchief, or something like that. If she thinks you want to know her shes flattered, and will manage it for you somehow.”

71You overrate my manly charms,” murmured Tommy.

72On the other hand,” proceeded Tuppence, “my millionaire would probably run for his life! Nomarriage is fraught with difficulties. Remainsto make money!”

73Weve tried that, and failed,” Tommy reminded her.

74Weve tried all the orthodox ways, yes. But suppose we try the unorthodox. Tommy, lets be adventurers!”

75Certainly,” replied Tommy cheerfully. How do we begin?”

76Thats the difficulty. If we could make ourselves known, people might hire us to commit crimes for them.”

77Delightful,” commented Tommy. Especially coming from a clergymans daughter!”

78The moral guilt,” Tuppence pointed out, “would be theirsnot mine. You must admit that theres a difference between stealing a diamond necklace for yourself and being hired to steal it.”

79There wouldn’t be the least difference if you were caught!”

80Perhaps not. But I shouldn’t be caught. Im so clever.”

81Modesty always was your besetting sin,” remarked Tommy.

82Dont rag. Look here, Tommy, shall we really? Shall we form a business partnership?”

83Form a company for the stealing of diamond necklaces?”

84That was only an illustration. Lets have awhat do you call it in book-keeping?”

85Dont know. Never did any.”

86I havebut I always got mixed up, and used to put credit entries on the debit side, and vice versa—so they fired me out. Oh, I knowa joint venture! It struck me as such a romantic phrase to come across in the middle of musty old figures. Its got an Elizabethan flavour about itmakes one think of galleons and doubloons. A joint venture!”

87Trading under the name of the Young Adventurers, Ltd.? Is that your idea, Tuppence?”

88Its all very well to laugh, but I feel there might be something in it.”

89How do you propose to get in touch with your would-be employers?”

90Advertisement,” replied Tuppence promptly. Have you got a bit of paper and a pencil? Men usually seem to have. Just like we have hairpins and powder-puffs.”

91Tommy handed over a rather shabby green notebook, and Tuppence began writing busily.

92Shall we begin: ‘Young officer, twice wounded in the war——‘”

93Certainly not.”

94Oh, very well, my dear boy. But I can assure you that that sort of thing might touch the heart of an elderly spinster, and she might adopt you, and then there would be no need for you to be a young adventurer at all.”

95I dont want to be adopted.”

96I forgot you had a prejudice against it. I was only ragging you! The papers are full up to the brim with that type of thing. Now listenhows this? ‘Two young adventurers for hire. Willing to do anything, go anywhere. Pay must be good.’ (We might as well make that clear from the start.) Then we might add: ‘No reasonable offer refused’—like flats and furniture.”

97I should think any offer we get in answer to that would be a pretty unreasonable one!”

98Tommy! Youre a genius! Thats ever so much more chic. ‘No unreasonable offer refusedif pay is good.’ Hows that?”

99I shouldn’t mention pay again. It looks rather eager.”

100It couldn’t look as eager as I feel! But perhaps you are right. Now Ill read it straight through. ‘Two young adventurers for hire. Willing to do anything, go anywhere. Pay must be good. No unreasonable offer refused.’ How would that strike you if you read it?”

101It would strike me as either being a hoax, or else written by a lunatic.”

102Its not half so insane as a thing I read this morning beginningPetuniaand signedBest Boy.’” She tore out the leaf and handed it to Tommy. There you are. Times, I think. Reply to Box so-and-so. I expect it will be about five shillings. Heres half a crown for my share.”

103Tommy was holding the paper thoughtfully. His faced burned a deeper red.

104Shall we really try it?” he said at last. Shall we, Tuppence? Just for the fun of the thing?”

105Tommy, youre a sport! I knew you would be! Lets drink to success.” She poured some cold dregs of tea into the two cups.

106Heres to our joint venture, and may it prosper!”

107The Young Adventurers, Ltd.!” responded Tommy.

108They put down the cups and laughed rather uncertainly. Tuppence rose.

109I must return to my palatial suite at the hostel.”

110Perhaps it is time I strolled round to the Ritz,” agreed Tommy with a grin. Where shall we meet? And when?”

111Twelve oclock to-morrow. Piccadilly Tube station. Will that suit you?”

112My time is my own,” replied Mr. Beresford magnificently.

113So long, then.”

114Good-bye, old thing.”

115The two young people went off in opposite directions. Tuppences hostel was situated in what was charitably called Southern Belgravia. For reasons of economy she did not take a bus.

116She was half-way across St. Jamess Park, when a mans voice behind her made her start.

117Excuse me,” it said. But may I speak to you for a moment?”