43. CHAPTER XLIII. MARGARET’S FLITTIN’.

North and South / 南方与北方

1The meanest thing to which we bid adieu,

2Loses its meanness in the parting hour.

3Elliott.

4Mrs. Shaw took as vehement a dislike as it was possible for one of her gentle nature to do, against Milton. It was noisy, and smoky, and the poor people whom she saw in the streets were dirty, and the rich ladies over-dressed, and not a man that she saw, high or low, had his clothes made to fit him. She was sure Margaret would never regain her lost strength while she stayed in Milton; and she herself was afraid of one of her old attacks of the nerves. Margaret must return with her, and that quickly. This, if not the exact force of her words, was at any rate the spirit of what she urged on Margaret, till the latter, weak, weary, and broken-spirited, yielded a reluctant promise that, as soon as Wednesday was over, she would prepare to accompany her aunt back to town, leaving Dixon in charge of all the arrangements for paying bills, disposing of furniture, and shutting up the house. Before that Wednesdaythat mournful Wednesday, when Mr. Hale was to be interred, far away from either of the homes he had known in life, and far away from the wife who lay lonely among strangers (and this last was Margarets great trouble, for she thought that if she had not given way to that overwhelming stupor during the first sad days, she could have arranged things otherwise)—before that Wednesday, Margaret received a letter from Mr. Bell.

5My dear Margaret:—I did mean to have returned to Milton on Thursday, but unluckily it turns out to be one of the rare occasions when we, Plymouth Fellows, are called upon to perform any kind of duty, and I must not be absent from my post. Captain Lennox and Mr. Thornton are here. The former seems a smart, well-meaning man; and has proposed to go over to Milton, and assist you in any search for the will; of course there is none, or you would have found it by this time, if you followed my directions. Then the Captain declares he must take you and his mother-in-law home; and, in his wifes present state, I dont see how you can expect him to remain away longer than Friday. However, that Dixon of yours is trusty; and can hold her, or your own, till I come. I will put matters into the hands of my Milton attorney if there is no will; for I doubt this smart Captain is no great man of business. Nevertheless, his moustachios are splendid. There will have to be a sale, so select what things you wish to be reserved. Or you can send a list afterwards. Now two things more, and I have done. You know, or if you dont, your poor father did, that you are to have my money and goods when I die. Not that I mean to die yet; but I name this just to explain what is coming. These Lennoxes seem very fond of you now; and perhaps may continue to be; perhaps not. So it is best to start with a formal agreement; namely, that you are to pay to them two hundred and fifty pounds a year, as long as you and they find it pleasant to live together. (This, of course, includes Dixon; mind you dont be cajoled into paying more for her.) Then you wont be thrown adrift, if some day the captain wishes to have his house to himself, but you can carry yourself and your two hundred and fifty pounds off somewhere else; if, indeed, I have not claimed you to come and keep house for me first. Then as to dress, and Dixon, and personal expenses, and confectionery (all young ladies eat confectionery till wisdom comes by age), I shall consult some lady of my acquaintance, and see how much you will have from your father before fixing this. Now, Margaret, have you flown out before you have read this far, and wondered what right the old man has to settle your affairs for you so cavalierly? I make no doubt you have. Yet the old man has a right. He has loved your father for five and thirty years; he stood beside him on his wedding-day; he closed his eyes in death. Moreover, he is your godfather; and as he cannot do you much good spiritually, having a hidden consciousness of your superiority in such things, he would fain do you the poor good of endowing you materially. And the old man has not a known relation on earth; ‘who is there to mourn for Adam Bell?’ and his whole heart is set and bent upon this one thing, and Margaret Hale is not the girl to say him nay. Write by return if only two lines, to tell me your answer. But no thanks.”

6Margaret took up a pen and scrawled with trembling hand, “Margaret Hale is not the girl to say him nay.” In her weak state she could not think of any other words, and yet, she was vexed to use these. But she was so much fatigued even by this slight exertion, that if she could have thought of another form of acceptance, she could not have sate up to write a syllable of it. She was obliged to lie down again and try not to think.

7My dearest child! Has that letter vexed or troubled you?”

8No!” said Margaret feebly. I shall be better when to-morrow is over.”

9I feel sure, darling, you wont be better till I get you out of this horrid air. How you can have borne it these two years I cant imagine.”

10Where could I go to? I could not leave papa and mamma.”

11Well, dont distress yourself, my dear. I dare say it was all for the best, only I had no conception of how you were living. Our butlers wife lives in a better house than this.”

12It is sometimes very prettyin summer; you cant judge by what it is now. I have been very happy here,” and Margaret closed her eyes by way of stopping the conversation.

13The house teemed with comfort now, compared to what it had been. The evenings were chilly, and by Mrs. Shaw’s directions fires were lighted in every bedroom. She petted Margaret in every possible way, and bought every delicacy, or soft luxury in which she herself would have burrowed and sought comfort. But Margaret was indifferent to all these things; or, if they forced themselves upon her attention, it was simply as causes for gratitude to her aunt, who was putting herself so much out of the way to think of her. She was restless, though so weak. All the day long, she kept herself from thinking of the ceremony which was going on at Oxford, by wandering from room to room, and languidly setting aside such articles as she wished to retain. Dixon followed her by Mrs. Shaw’s desire, ostensibly to receive instructions, but with a private injunction to soothe her into repose as soon as might be.

14These books, Dixon, I will keep. All the rest will you send to Mr. Bell? They are of a kind that he will value for themselves, as well as for papas sake. This—— I should like you to take this to Mr. Thornton, after I am gone. Stay; I will write a note with it.” And she sate down hastily, as if afraid of thinking, and wrote:

15Dear Sir,—The accompanying book I am sure will be valued by you for the sake of my father, to whom it belonged.

16Yours sincerely,

17Margaret Hale.

18She set out again upon her travels through the house, turning over articles, known to her from her childhood, with a sort of caressing reluctance to leave themold-fashioned, worn and shabby, as they might be. But she hardly spoke again; and Dixon’s report to Mrs. Shaw was, thatshe doubted whether Miss Hale heard a word of what she said, though she talked the whole time, in order to divert her intention.” The consequence of her being on her feet all day was excessive bodily weariness in the evening, and a better nights rest than she had had since she heard of Mr. Hales death.

19At breakfast time the next day, she expressed her wish to go and bid one or two friends good-bye. Mrs. Shaw objected:

20I am sure, my dear, you can have no friends here with whom you are sufficiently intimate to justify you in calling upon them so soon; before you have been at church.”

21But to-day is my only day; if Captain Lennox comes this afternoon, and if we mustif I must really go to-morrow——”

22Oh, yes, we shall go to-morrow. I am more and more convinced that this air is bad for you, and makes you look so pale and ill; besides, Edith expects us; and she may be waiting for me; and you cannot be left alone, my dear, at your age. No; if you must make these calls, I will go with you. Dixon can get us a coach, I suppose?”

23So Mrs. Shaw went to take care of Margaret and took her maid with her to take care of the shawls and air-cushions. Margarets face was too sad to lighten up into a smile at all this preparation for paying two visits, that she had often made by herself at all hours of the day. She was half afraid of owning that one place to which she was going was Nicholas Higgins’; all she could do was to hope her aunt would be indisposed to get out of the coach and walk up the court, and at every breath of wind have her face slapped by wet clothes, hanging out to dry on ropes stretched from house to house.

24There was a little battle in Mrs. Shaw’s mind between ease and a sense of matronly propriety; but the former gained the day; and with many an injunction to Margaret to be careful of herself, and not to catch any fever, such as was always lurking in such places, her aunt permitted her to go where she had often been before without taking any precaution or requiring any permission.

25Nicholas was out; only Mary and one or two of the Boucher children at home. Margaret was vexed with herself for not having timed her visit better. Mary had a very blunt intellect, although her feelings were warm and kind; and the instant she understood what Margarets purpose was in coming to see them, she began to cry and sob with so little restraint that Margaret found it useless to say any of the thousand little things which had suggested themselves to her as she was coming along in the coach. She could only try to comfort her a little by suggesting the vague chance of their meeting again, at some possible time, in some possible place, and bid her tell her father how much she wished, if he could manage it, that he should come to see her when he had done his work in the evening.

26As she was leaving the place, she stopped and looked around; then hesitated a little before she said:

27I should like to have some little thing to remind me of Bessy.”

28Instantly Marys generosity was keenly alive. What could they give? And on Margarets singling out a little common drinking-cup, which she remembered as the one always standing by Bessys side with a drink for her feverish lips, Mary said:

29Oh, take summat better; that only cost fourpence!”

30That will do, thank you,” said Margaret; and she went quickly away, while the light caused by the pleasure of having something to give yet lingered on Marys face.

31Now to Mrs. Thornton’s,” thought she to herself. “It must be done.” But she looked rather rigid and pale at the thoughts of it, and had hard work to find the exact words in which to explain to her aunt who Mrs. Thornton was, and why she should go to bid her farewell.

32They (for Mrs. Shaw alighted here) were shown into the drawing-room, in which a fire had only just been kindled. Mrs. Shaw huddled herself up in her shawl and shivered.

33What an icy room!” she said.

34They had to wait for some time before Mrs. Thornton entered. There was some softening in her heart towards Margaret, now that she was going away out of her sight. She remembered her spirit, as shown at various times and places, even more than the patience with which she had endured long and wearing cares. Her countenance was blander than usual, as she greeted her; there was even a shade of tenderness in her manner, as she noticed the white, tear-swollen face, and the quiver in the voice which Margaret tried to make so steady.

35Allow me to introduce my aunt, Mrs. Shaw. I am going away from Milton to-morrow; I do not know if you are aware of it, but I wanted to see you once again, Mrs. Thornton, toto apologize for my manner the last time I saw you; and to say that I am sure you meant kindlyhowever much we may have misunderstood each other.”

36Mrs. Shaw looked extremely perplexed by what Margaret had said. Thanks for kindness! and apologies for failure in good manners! But Mrs. Thornton replied:

37Miss Hale, I am glad you do me justice. I did no more than I believed to be my duty in remonstrating with you as I did. I have always desired to act the part of a friend to you. I am glad you do me justice.”

38And,” said Margaret, blushing excessively as she spoke, “will you do me justice, and believe that though I cannotI do not chooseto give explanations of my conduct, I have not acted in the unbecoming way you apprehended?”

39Margarets voice was so soft, and her eyes so pleading, that Mrs. Thornton was for once affected by the charm of manner to which she had hitherto proved herself invulnerable.

40Yes, I do believe you. Let us say no more about it. Where are you going to reside, Miss Hale? I understood from Mr. Bell that you were going to leave Milton. You never liked Milton, you know,” said Mrs. Thornton, with a sort of grim smile; “but for all that, you must not expect me to congratulate you on quitting it. Where shall you live?”

41With my aunt,” replied Margaret, turning towards Mrs. Shaw.

42My niece will reside with me in Harley Street. She is almost like a daughter to me,” said Mrs. Shaw, looking fondly at Margaret; “and I am glad to acknowledge my own obligation for any kindness that has been shown to her. If you and your husband ever come to the town, my son and daughter, Captain and Mrs. Lennox, will, I am sure, join with me in wishing to do anything in our power to show you attention.”

43Mrs. Thornton thought in her own mind, that Margaret had not taken much care to enlighten her aunt as to the relationship between the Mr. and Mrs. Thornton, towards whom the fine-lady aunt was extending her soft patronage; so she answered shortly,

44My husband is dead. Mr. Thornton is my son. I never go to London; so I am not likely to be able to avail myself of your polite offers.”

45At this instant Mr. Thornton entered the room; he had only just returned from Oxford. His mourning suit spoke of the reason that had called him there.

46John,” said his mother, “this lady is Mrs. Shaw, Miss Hales aunt. I am sorry to say, that Miss Hales call is to wish us good-bye.”

47You are going then!” said he in a low voice.

48Yes,” said Margaret. We leave to-morrow.”

49My son-in-law comes this evening to escort us,” said Mrs. Shaw.

50Mr. Thornton turned away. He had not sat down, and now he seemed to be examining something on the table, almost as if he had discovered an unopened letter, which had made him forget the present company. He did not even seem to be aware when they got up to take leave. He started forwards, however, to hand Mrs. Shaw down to the carriage. As it drove up, he and Margaret stood close together on the door-step, and it was impossible but that the recollection of the day of the riot should force itself into both their minds. Into his it came associated with the speeches of the following day; her passionate declaration that there was not a man in all that violent and a desperate crowd, for whom she did not care as much as for him. And at the remembrance of her taunting words, his brow grew stern, though his heart beat thick with longing love. No!” said he, “I put it to the touch once, and I lost it all. Let her go,—with her stony heart, and her beauty;—how set and terrible her look is now, for all her loveliness of feature! She is afraid I shall speak what will require some stern repression. Let her go. Beauty and heiress as she may be, she will find it hard to meet with a truer heart than mine. Let her go!”

51And there was no tone of regret, or emotion of any kind in the voice with which he said good-bye; and the offered hand was taken with a resolute calmness, and dropped as carelessly as if it had been a dead and withered flower. But none in his household saw Mr. Thornton again that day. He was busily engaged; or so he said.

52Margarets strength was so utterly exhausted by these visits, that she had to submit to much watching and petting, and sighingI-told-you-sos,” from her aunt. Dixon said she was quite as bad as she had been on the first day she heard of her fathers death; and she and Mrs. Shaw consulted as to the desirableness of delaying the morrows journey. But when her aunt reluctantly proposed a few daysdelay to Margaret, the latter writhed her body as if in acute suffering, and said:

53Oh! let us go. I cannot be patient here. I shall not get well here. I want to forget.”

54So the arrangements went on: and Captain Lennox came, and with him news of Edith and the little boy; and Margaret found that the indifferent, careless conversation of one who, however kind, was not too warm and anxious a sympathiser, did her good. She roused up; and by the time that she knew she might expect Higgins, she was able to leave the room quietly, and await in her own chamber the expected summons.

55Eh!” said he, as she came in, “to think of thoud gentleman dropping off as he did! Yomight haknocked me down wia straw when they telled me. ‘Mr. Hale?’ said I; ‘him as was thparson?’ ‘Ay,’ said they. ‘Then,’ said I, ‘theres as good a man gone as ever lived on this earth, let who will be tother!’ And I came to see yo’, and tell yohow grieved I were, but them women in thkitchen wouldn’t tell yoI were there. They said yowere ill,—and butter me, but yo’ dunnot look like the same wench. And yore going to be a grand lady up i’ Lunnon, aren’t yo’?”

56Not a grand lady,” said Margaret, half smiling.

57Well! Thornton saidsays he, a day or two ago, ‘Higgins, have yoseen Miss Hale?’ ‘No,’ says I; ‘theres a pack owomen who wont let me at her. But I can bide my time, if shes ill. She and I knows each other pretty well; and hoo’l not go doubting that Im main sorry for thoud gentlemans death, just because I cant get at her and tell her so.’ And says he, ‘Yoll not have much time for to try and see her, my fine chap. Shes not for staying with us a day longer nor she can help. Shes got grand relations, and theyre carrying her off; and we shan’t see her no more.’ ‘Measter,’ said I, ‘if I dunnot see her afore hoo goes, Ill strive to get up to Lunnon next Whitsuntide, that I will. Ill not be baulked of saying her good-bye by any relations whatsomdever. But bless yo’, I knowed yod come. It were only for to humour the measter, I let on as if I thought yod m’appen leave Milton without seeing me.”

58Youre quite right,” said Margaret. You only do me justice. And youll not forget me, Im sure. If no one else in Milton remembers me, Im certain you will; and papa too. You know how good and tender he was. Look, Higgins! here is his Bible. I have kept it for you. I can ill spare it; but I know he would have liked you to have it. Im sure youll care for it, and study what is in it, for his sake.”

59Yomay say that. If it were the deuces own scribble, and yoaxed me to read in it for yor sake and the oud gentlemans, Id do it. Whatten’s this, wench! Im not going for to take yor brass, so dunnot think it. Weve been great friends, ’bout the sound omoney passing between us.”

60For the childrenfor Boucher’s children,” said Margaret, hurriedly. They may need it. Youve no right to refuse it for them. I would not give you one penny,” she said, smiling; “dont think theres any of it for you.”

61Well, wench! I can nobbut say, Bless yo’! and bless yo’!—and amen.”