143. CHAPTER V—IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO BE DRUNK IN ORDER TO BE IMMORTAL

Les Misérables / 悲惨世界

1On the following day, as the sun was declining, the very rare passers-by on the Boulevard du Maine pulled off their hats to an old-fashioned hearse, ornamented with skulls, cross-bones, and tears. This hearse contained a coffin covered with a white cloth over which spread a large black cross, like a huge corpse with drooping arms. A mourning-coach, in which could be seen a priest in his surplice, and a choir boy in his red cap, followed. Two undertakers men in gray uniforms trimmed with black walked on the right and the left of the hearse. Behind it came an old man in the garments of a laborer, who limped along. The procession was going in the direction of the Vaugirard cemetery.

2The handle of a hammer, the blade of a cold chisel, and the antennæ of a pair of pincers were visible, protruding from the mans pocket.

3The Vaugirard cemetery formed an exception among the cemeteries of Paris. It had its peculiar usages, just as it had its carriage entrance and its house door, which old people in the quarter, who clung tenaciously to ancient words, still called the porte cavalière and the porte piétonne.16 The Bernardines-Benedictines of the Rue Petit-Picpus had obtained permission, as we have already stated, to be buried there in a corner apart, and at night, the plot of land having formerly belonged to their community. The grave-diggers being thus bound to service in the evening in summer and at night in winter, in this cemetery, they were subjected to a special discipline. The gates of the Paris cemeteries closed, at that epoch, at sundown, and this being a municipal regulation, the Vaugirard cemetery was bound by it like the rest. The carriage gate and the house door were two contiguous grated gates, adjoining a pavilion built by the architect Perronet, and inhabited by the door-keeper of the cemetery. These gates, therefore, swung inexorably on their hinges at the instant when the sun disappeared behind the dome of the Invalides. If any grave-digger were delayed after that moment in the cemetery, there was but one way for him to get outhis grave-diggers card furnished by the department of public funerals. A sort of letter-box was constructed in the porters window. The grave-digger dropped his card into this box, the porter heard it fall, pulled the rope, and the small door opened. If the man had not his card, he mentioned his name, the porter, who was sometimes in bed and asleep, rose, came out and identified the man, and opened the gate with his key; the grave-digger stepped out, but had to pay a fine of fifteen francs.

4This cemetery, with its peculiarities outside the regulations, embarrassed the symmetry of the administration. It was suppressed a little later than 1830. The cemetery of Mont-Parnasse, called the Eastern cemetery, succeeded to it, and inherited that famous dram-shop next to the Vaugirard cemetery, which was surmounted by a quince painted on a board, and which formed an angle, one side on the drinkerstables, and the other on the tombs, with this sign: Au Bon Coing.

5The Vaugirard cemetery was what may be called a faded cemetery. It was falling into disuse. Dampness was invading it, the flowers were deserting it. The bourgeois did not care much about being buried in the Vaugirard; it hinted at poverty. Père-Lachaise if you please! to be buried in Père-Lachaise is equivalent to having furniture of mahogany. It is recognized as elegant. The Vaugirard cemetery was a venerable enclosure, planted like an old-fashioned French garden. Straight alleys, box, thuya-trees, holly, ancient tombs beneath aged cypress-trees, and very tall grass. In the evening it was tragic there. There were very lugubrious lines about it.

6The sun had not yet set when the hearse with the white pall and the black cross entered the avenue of the Vaugirard cemetery. The lame man who followed it was no other than Fauchelevent.

7The interment of Mother Crucifixion in the vault under the altar, the exit of Cosette, the introduction of Jean Valjean to the dead-room,—all had been executed without difficulty, and there had been no hitch.

8Let us remark in passing, that the burial of Mother Crucifixion under the altar of the convent is a perfectly venial offence in our sight. It is one of the faults which resemble a duty. The nuns had committed it, not only without difficulty, but even with the applause of their own consciences. In the cloister, what is called thegovernmentis only an intermeddling with authority, an interference which is always questionable. In the first place, the rule; as for the code, we shall see. Make as many laws as you please, men; but keep them for yourselves. The tribute to Cæsar is never anything but the remnants of the tribute to God. A prince is nothing in the presence of a principle.

9Fauchelevent limped along behind the hearse in a very contented frame of mind. His twin plots, the one with the nuns, the one for the convent, the other against it, the other with M. Madeleine, had succeeded, to all appearance. Jean Valjean’s composure was one of those powerful tranquillities which are contagious. Fauchelevent no longer felt doubtful as to his success.

10What remained to be done was a mere nothing. Within the last two years, he had made good Father Mestienne, a chubby-cheeked person, drunk at least ten times. He played with Father Mestienne. He did what he liked with him. He made him dance according to his whim. Mestienne’s head adjusted itself to the cap of Fauchelevent’s will. Fauchelevent’s confidence was perfect.

11At the moment when the convoy entered the avenue leading to the cemetery, Fauchelevent glanced cheerfully at the hearse, and said half aloud, as he rubbed his big hands:—

12Heres a fine farce!”

13All at once the hearse halted; it had reached the gate. The permission for interment must be exhibited. The undertakers man addressed himself to the porter of the cemetery. During this colloquy, which always is productive of a delay of from one to two minutes, some one, a stranger, came and placed himself behind the hearse, beside Fauchelevent. He was a sort of laboring man, who wore a waistcoat with large pockets and carried a mattock under his arm.

14Fauchelevent surveyed this stranger.

15Who are you?” he demanded.

16The man replied:—

17The grave-digger.”

18If a man could survive the blow of a cannon-ball full in the breast, he would make the same face that Fauchelevent made.

19The grave-digger?”

20Yes.”

21You?”

22I.”

23Father Mestienne is the grave-digger.”

24He was.”

25What! He was?”

26He is dead.”

27Fauchelevent had expected anything but this, that a grave-digger could die. It is true, nevertheless, that grave-diggers do die themselves. By dint of excavating graves for other people, one hollows out ones own.

28Fauchelevent stood there with his mouth wide open. He had hardly the strength to stammer:—

29But it is not possible!”

30It is so.”

31But,” he persisted feebly, “Father Mestienne is the grave-digger.”

32After Napoleon, Louis XVIII. After Mestienne, Gribier. Peasant, my name is Gribier.”

33Fauchelevent, who was deadly pale, stared at this Gribier.

34He was a tall, thin, livid, utterly funereal man. He had the air of an unsuccessful doctor who had turned grave-digger.

35Fauchelevent burst out laughing.

36Ah!” said he, “what queer things do happen! Father Mestienne is dead, but long live little Father Lenoir! Do you know who little Father Lenoir is? He is a jug of red wine. It is a jug of Surêne, morbigou! of real Paris Surêne? Ah! So old Mestienne is dead! I am sorry for it; he was a jolly fellow. But you are a jolly fellow, too. Are you not, comrade? Well go and have a drink together presently.”

37The man replied:—

38I have been a student. I passed my fourth examination. I never drink.”

39The hearse had set out again, and was rolling up the grand alley of the cemetery.

40Fauchelevent had slackened his pace. He limped more out of anxiety than from infirmity.

41The grave-digger walked on in front of him.

42Fauchelevent passed the unexpected Gribier once more in review.

43He was one of those men who, though very young, have the air of age, and who, though slender, are extremely strong.

44Comrade!” cried Fauchelevent.

45The man turned round.

46I am the convent grave-digger.”

47My colleague,” said the man.

48Fauchelevent, who was illiterate but very sharp, understood that he had to deal with a formidable species of man, with a fine talker. He muttered:

49So Father Mestienne is dead.”

50The man replied:—

51Completely. The good God consulted his note-book which shows when the time is up. It was Father Mestienne’s turn. Father Mestienne died.”

52Fauchelevent repeated mechanically: “The good God—”

53The good God,” said the man authoritatively. According to the philosophers, the Eternal Father; according to the Jacobins, the Supreme Being.”

54Shall we not make each others acquaintance?” stammered Fauchelevent.

55It is made. You are a peasant, I am a Parisian.”

56People do not know each other until they have drunk together. He who empties his glass empties his heart. You must come and have a drink with me. Such a thing cannot be refused.”

57Business first.”

58Fauchelevent thought: “I am lost.”

59They were only a few turns of the wheel distant from the small alley leading to the nunscorner.

60The grave-digger resumed:—

61Peasant, I have seven small children who must be fed. As they must eat, I cannot drink.”

62And he added, with the satisfaction of a serious man who is turning a phrase well:—

63Their hunger is the enemy of my thirst.”

64The hearse skirted a clump of cypress-trees, quitted the grand alley, turned into a narrow one, entered the waste land, and plunged into a thicket. This indicated the immediate proximity of the place of sepulture. Fauchelevent slackened his pace, but he could not detain the hearse. Fortunately, the soil, which was light and wet with the winter rains, clogged the wheels and retarded its speed.

65He approached the grave-digger.

66They have such a nice little Argenteuil wine,” murmured Fauchelevent.

67Villager,” retorted the man, “I ought not be a grave-digger. My father was a porter at the Prytaneum [Town-Hall]. He destined me for literature. But he had reverses. He had losses onchange. I was obliged to renounce the profession of author. But I am still a public writer.”

68So you are not a grave-digger, then?” returned Fauchelevent, clutching at this branch, feeble as it was.

69The one does not hinder the other. I cumulate.”

70Fauchelevent did not understand this last word.

71Come have a drink,” said he.

72Here a remark becomes necessary. Fauchelevent, whatever his anguish, offered a drink, but he did not explain himself on one point; who was to pay? Generally, Fauchelevent offered and Father Mestienne paid. An offer of a drink was the evident result of the novel situation created by the new grave-digger, and it was necessary to make this offer, but the old gardener left the proverbial quarter of an hour named after Rabelais in the dark, and that not unintentionally. As for himself, Fauchelevent did not wish to pay, troubled as he was.

73The grave-digger went on with a superior smile:—

74One must eat. I have accepted Father Mestienne’s reversion. One gets to be a philosopher when one has nearly completed his classes. To the labor of the hand I join the labor of the arm. I have my scrivener’s stall in the market of the Rue de Sèvres. You know? the Umbrella Market. All the cooks of the Red Cross apply to me. I scribble their declarations of love to the raw soldiers. In the morning I write love letters; in the evening I dig graves. Such is life, rustic.”

75The hearse was still advancing. Fauchelevent, uneasy to the last degree, was gazing about him on all sides. Great drops of perspiration trickled down from his brow.

76But,” continued the grave-digger, “a man cannot serve two mistresses. I must choose between the pen and the mattock. The mattock is ruining my hand.”

77The hearse halted.

78The choir boy alighted from the mourning-coach, then the priest.

79One of the small front wheels of the hearse had run up a little on a pile of earth, beyond which an open grave was visible.

80What a farce this is!” repeated Fauchelevent in consternation.