1He came home from the hospital a few days later, finally and irrevocably robbed of his ambitions. It took more medication to remove him from the pain. He moved upstairs permanently, into a hospital bed near the living room window.

2These were days of pajamas and beard scruff, of mumblings and requests and him endlessly thanking everyone for all they were doing on his behalf.

3One afternoon, he pointed vaguely toward a laundry basket in a corner of the room and asked me, “Whats that?”

4That laundry basket?”

5No, next to it.”

6I dont see anything next to it.”

7Its my last shred of dignity. Its very small.” * * *

8The next day, I let myself in. They didn’t like me to ring the doorbell anymore because it might wake him up. His sisters were there with their banker husbands and three kids, all boys, who ran up to me and chanted who are you who are you who are you, running circles around the entryway like lung capacity was a renewable resource. Id met the sisters before, but never the kids or their dads.

9Im Hazel,” I said.

10Gus has a girlfriend,” one of the kids said.

11I am aware that Gus has a girlfriend,” I said.

12Shes got boobies,” another said.

13Is that so?”

14Why do you have that?” the first one asked, pointing at my oxygen cart.

15It helps me breathe,” I said. Is Gus awake?” “No, hes sleeping.”

16Hes dying,” said another.

17Hes dying,” the third one confirmed, suddenly serious. It was quiet for a moment, and I wondered what I was supposed to say, but then one of them kicked another and they were off to the races again, falling all over each other in a scrum that migrated toward the kitchen.

18I made my way to Guss parents in the living room and met his brothers- in-law, Chris and Dave.

19I hadn’t gotten to know his half sisters, really, but they both hugged me anyway. Julie was sitting on the edge of the bed, talking to a sleeping Gus in precisely the same voice that one would use to tell an infant he was adorable, saying, “Oh, Gussy Gussy, our little Gussy Gussy.” Our Gussy? Had they acquired him?

20Whats up, Augustus?” I said, trying to model appropriate behavior.

21Our beautiful Gussy,” Martha said, leaning in toward him. I began to wonder if he was actually asleep or if hed just laid a heavy finger on the pain pump to avoid the Attack of the Well-Meaning Sisters.

22He woke up after a while and the first thing he said was, “Hazel,” which I have to admit made me kind of happy, like maybe I was part of his family, too. “Outside,” he said quietly. “Can we go?” We went, his mom pushing the wheelchair, sisters and brothers-in-law and dad and nephews and me trailing. It was a cloudy day, still and hot as summer settled in. He wore a long-sleeve navy T-shirt and fleece sweatpants.

23He was cold all the time for some reason. He wanted some water, so his dad went and got some for him.

24Martha tried to engage Gus in conversation, kneeling down next to him and saying, “Youve always had such beautiful eyes.” He nodded a little.

25One of the husbands put an arm on Guss shoulder and said, “Hows that fresh air feel?” Gus shrugged.

26Do you want meds?” his mom asked, joining the circle kneeling around him. I took a step back, watching as the nephews tore through a flower bed on their way to the little patch of grass in Guss backyard. They immediately commenced to play a game that involved throwing one another to the ground.

27Kids!” Julie shouted vaguely.

28I can only hope,” Julie said, turning back to Gus, “they grow into the kind of thoughtful, intelligent young men youve become.” I resisted the urge to audibly gag. Hes not that smart,” I said to Julie.

29Shes right. Its just that most really good-looking people are stupid, so I exceed expectations.”

30Right, its primarily his hotness,” I said.

31It can be sort of blinding,” he said.

32It actually did blind our friend Isaac,” I said.

33Terrible tragedy, that. But can I help my own deadly beauty?” “You cannot.”

34It is my burden, this beautiful face.”

35Not to mention your body.”

36Seriously, dont even get me started on my hot bod. You dont want to see me naked, Dave. Seeing me naked actually took Hazel Graces breath away,” he said, nodding toward the oxygen tank.

37Okay, enough,” Guss dad said, and then out of nowhere, his dad put an arm around me and kissed the side of my head and whispered, “I thank God for you every day, kid.”

38Anyway, that was the last good day I had with Gus until the Last Good Day.