17. Chapter XVI The Magic Art of the Great Humbug

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz / 绿野仙踪 /奥兹国了不起的魔法师

1Next morning the Scarecrow said to his friends:

2Congratulate me. I am going to Oz to get my brains at last. When I return I shall be as other men are.”

3I have always liked you as you were,” said Dorothy simply.

4It is kind of you to like a Scarecrow,” he replied. “But surely you will think more of me when you hear the splendid thoughts my new brain is going to turn out.” Then he said good-bye to them all in a cheerful voice and went to the Throne Room, where he rapped upon the door.

5Come in,” said Oz.

6The Scarecrow went in and found the little man sitting down by the window, engaged in deep thought.

7I have come for my brains,” remarked the Scarecrow, a little uneasily.

8Oh, yes; sit down in that chair, please,” replied Oz. You must excuse me for taking your head off, but I shall have to do it in order to put your brains in their proper place.”

9Thats all right,” said the Scarecrow. You are quite welcome to take my head off, as long as it will be a better one when you put it on again.”

10So the Wizard unfastened his head and emptied out the straw. Then he entered the back room and took up a measure of bran, which he mixed with a great many pins and needles. Having shaken them together thoroughly, he filled the top of the Scarecrows head with the mixture and stuffed the rest of the space with straw, to hold it in place.

11When he had fastened the Scarecrows head on his body again he said to him, “Hereafter you will be a great man, for I have given you a lot of bran-new brains.”

12The Scarecrow was both pleased and proud at the fulfillment of his greatest wish, and having thanked Oz warmly he went back to his friends.

13Dorothy looked at him curiously. His head was quite bulged out at the top with brains.

14How do you feel?” she asked.

15I feel wise indeed,” he answered earnestly. When I get used to my brains I shall know everything.”

16Why are those needles and pins sticking out of your head?” asked the Tin Woodman.

17That is proof that he is sharp,” remarked the Lion.

18Well, I must go to Oz and get my heart,” said the Woodman. So he walked to the Throne Room and knocked at the door.

19Come in,” called Oz, and the Woodman entered and said, “I have come for my heart.”

20Very well,” answered the little man. But I shall have to cut a hole in your breast, so I can put your heart in the right place. I hope it wont hurt you.”

21Oh, no,” answered the Woodman. I shall not feel it at all.”

22So Oz brought a pair of tinsmith’s shears and cut a small, square hole in the left side of the Tin Woodmans breast. Then, going to a chest of drawers, he took out a pretty heart, made entirely of silk and stuffed with sawdust.

23“Isn’t it a beauty?” he asked.

24It is, indeed!” replied the Woodman, who was greatly pleased. But is it a kind heart?”

25Oh, very!” answered Oz. He put the heart in the Woodmans breast and then replaced the square of tin, soldering it neatly together where it had been cut.

26There,” said he; “now you have a heart that any man might be proud of. Im sorry I had to put a patch on your breast, but it really couldn’t be helped.”

27Never mind the patch,” exclaimed the happy Woodman. I am very grateful to you, and shall never forget your kindness.”

28Dont speak of it,” replied Oz.

29Then the Tin Woodman went back to his friends, who wished him every joy on account of his good fortune.

30The Lion now walked to the Throne Room and knocked at the door.

31Come in,” said Oz.

32I have come for my courage,” announced the Lion, entering the room.

33Very well,” answered the little man; “I will get it for you.”

34He went to a cupboard and reaching up to a high shelf took down a square green bottle, the contents of which he poured into a green-gold dish, beautifully carved. Placing this before the Cowardly Lion, who sniffed at it as if he did not like it, the Wizard said:

35Drink.”

36What is it?” asked the Lion.

37Well,” answered Oz, “if it were inside of you, it would be courage. You know, of course, that courage is always inside one; so that this really cannot be called courage until you have swallowed it. Therefore I advise you to drink it as soon as possible.”

38The Lion hesitated no longer, but drank till the dish was empty.

39How do you feel now?” asked Oz.

40Full of courage,” replied the Lion, who went joyfully back to his friends to tell them of his good fortune.

41Oz, left to himself, smiled to think of his success in giving the Scarecrow and the Tin Woodman and the Lion exactly what they thought they wanted. How can I help being a humbug,” he said, “when all these people make me do things that everybody knows cant be done? It was easy to make the Scarecrow and the Lion and the Woodman happy, because they imagined I could do anything. But it will take more than imagination to carry Dorothy back to Kansas, and Im sure I dont know how it can be done.”