19. CHAPTER XIX.

Silas Marner / 织工马南

1Between eight and nine oclock that evening, Eppie and Silas were seated alone in the cottage. After the great excitement the weaver had undergone from the events of the afternoon, he had felt a longing for this quietude, and had even begged Mrs. Winthrop and Aaron, who had naturally lingered behind every one else, to leave him alone with his child. The excitement had not passed away: it had only reached that stage when the keenness of the susceptibility makes external stimulus intolerablewhen there is no sense of weariness, but rather an intensity of inward life, under which sleep is an impossibility. Any one who has watched such moments in other men remembers the brightness of the eyes and the strange definiteness that comes over coarse features from that transient influence. It is as if a new fineness of ear for all spiritual voices had sent wonder-working vibrations through the heavy mortal frameas ifbeauty born of murmuring soundhad passed into the face of the listener.

2Silas’s face showed that sort of transfiguration, as he sat in his arm-chair and looked at Eppie. She had drawn her own chair towards his knees, and leaned forward, holding both his hands, while she looked up at him. On the table near them, lit by a candle, lay the recovered goldthe old long-loved gold, ranged in orderly heaps, as Silas used to range it in the days when it was his only joy. He had been telling her how he used to count it every night, and how his soul was utterly desolate till she was sent to him.

3At first, Id a sort ofeeling come across me now and then,” he was saying in a subdued tone, “as if you might be changed into the gold again; for sometimes, turn my head which way I would, I seemed to see the gold; and I thought I should be glad if I could feel it, and find it was come back. But that didn’t last long. After a bit, I should have thought it was a curse come again, if it had drove you from me, for Id got to feel the need oyour looks and your voice and the touch oyour little fingers. You didn’t know then, Eppie, when you were such a little unyou didn’t know what your old father Silas felt for you.”

4But I know now, father,” said Eppie. If it hadn’t been for you, theyd have taken me to the workhouse, and thered have been nobody to love me.”

5Eh, my precious child, the blessing was mine. If you hadn’t been sent to save me, I should hagone to the grave in my misery. The money was taken away from me in time; and you see its been keptkept till it was wanted for you. Its wonderfulour life is wonderful.”

6Silas sat in silence a few minutes, looking at the money. It takes no hold of me now,” he said, ponderingly—“the money doesn’t. I wonder if it ever could againI doubt it might, if I lost you, Eppie. I might come to think I was forsaken again, and lose the feeling that God was good to me.”

7At that moment there was a knocking at the door; and Eppie was obliged to rise without answering Silas. Beautiful she looked, with the tenderness of gathering tears in her eyes and a slight flush on her cheeks, as she stepped to open the door. The flush deepened when she saw Mr. and Mrs. Godfrey Cass. She made her little rustic curtsy, and held the door wide for them to enter.

8Were disturbing you very late, my dear,” said Mrs. Cass, taking Eppie’s hand, and looking in her face with an expression of anxious interest and admiration. Nancy herself was pale and tremulous.

9Eppie, after placing chairs for Mr. and Mrs. Cass, went to stand against Silas, opposite to them.

10Well, Marner,” said Godfrey, trying to speak with perfect firmness, “its a great comfort to me to see you with your money again, that youve been deprived of so many years. It was one of my family did you the wrongthe more grief to meand I feel bound to make up to you for it in every way. Whatever I can do for you will be nothing but paying a debt, even if I looked no further than the robbery. But there are other things Im beholdenshall be beholden to you for, Marner.”

11Godfrey checked himself. It had been agreed between him and his wife that the subject of his fatherhood should be approached very carefully, and that, if possible, the disclosure should be reserved for the future, so that it might be made to Eppie gradually. Nancy had urged this, because she felt strongly the painful light in which Eppie must inevitably see the relation between her father and mother.

12Silas, always ill at ease when he was being spoken to bybetters,” such as Mr. Cass—tall, powerful, florid men, seen chiefly on horsebackanswered with some constraint

13Sir, Ive a deal to thank you for aready. As for the robbery, I count it no loss to me. And if I did, you couldn’t help it: you aren’t answerable for it.”

14You may look at it in that way, Marner, but I never can; and I hope youll let me act according to my own feeling of whats just. I know youre easily contented: youve been a hard-working man all your life.”

15Yes, sir, yes,” said Marner, meditatively. I should habeen bad off without my work: it was what I held by when everything else was gone from me.”

16Ah,” said Godfrey, applying Marner’s words simply to his bodily wants, “it was a good trade for you in this country, because theres been a great deal of linen-weaving to be done. But youre getting rather past such close work, Marner: its time you laid by and had some rest. You look a good deal pulled down, though youre not an old man, are you?”

17Fifty-five, as near as I can say, sir,” said Silas.

18Oh, why, you may live thirty years longerlook at old Macey! And that money on the table, after all, is but little. It wont go far either waywhether its put out to interest, or you were to live on it as long as it would last: it wouldn’t go far if youd nobody to keep but yourself, and youve had two to keep for a good many years now.”

19Eh, sir,” said Silas, unaffected by anything Godfrey was saying, “Im in no fear owant. We shall do very well—Eppie and me ’ull do well enough. Theres few working-folks have got so much laid by as that. I dont know what it is to gentlefolks, but I look upon it as a dealalmost too much. And as for us, its little we want.”

20Only the garden, father,” said Eppie, blushing up to the ears the moment after.

21You love a garden, do you, my dear?” said Nancy, thinking that this turn in the point of view might help her husband. We should agree in that: I give a deal of time to the garden.”

22Ah, theres plenty of gardening at the Red House,” said Godfrey, surprised at the difficulty he found in approaching a proposition which had seemed so easy to him in the distance. Youve done a good part by Eppie, Marner, for sixteen years. It ’ud be a great comfort to you to see her well provided for, wouldn’t it? She looks blooming and healthy, but not fit for any hardships: she doesn’t look like a strapping girl come of working parents. Youd like to see her taken care of by those who can leave her well off, and make a lady of her; shes more fit for it than for a rough life, such as she might come to have in a few yearstime.”

23A slight flush came over Marner’s face, and disappeared, like a passing gleam. Eppie was simply wondering Mr. Cass should talk so about things that seemed to have nothing to do with reality; but Silas was hurt and uneasy.

24I dont take your meaning, sir,” he answered, not having words at command to express the mingled feelings with which he had heard Mr. Cass’s words.

25Well, my meaning is this, Marner,” said Godfrey, determined to come to the point. Mrs. Cass and I, you know, have no childrennobody to benefit by our good home and everything else we havemore than enough for ourselves. And we should like to have somebody in the place of a daughter to uswe should like to have Eppie, and treat her in every way as our own child. It ’ud be a great comfort to you in your old age, I hope, to see her fortune made in that way, after youve been at the trouble of bringing her up so well. And its right you should have every reward for that. And Eppie, Im sure, will always love you and be grateful to you: shed come and see you very often, and we should all be on the look-out to do everything we could towards making you comfortable.”

26A plain man like Godfrey Cass, speaking under some embarrassment, necessarily blunders on words that are coarser than his intentions, and that are likely to fall gratingly on susceptible feelings. While he had been speaking, Eppie had quietly passed her arm behind Silas’s head, and let her hand rest against it caressingly: she felt him trembling violently. He was silent for some moments when Mr. Cass had endedpowerless under the conflict of emotions, all alike painful. Eppie’s heart was swelling at the sense that her father was in distress; and she was just going to lean down and speak to him, when one struggling dread at last gained the mastery over every other in Silas, and he said, faintly

27“Eppie, my child, speak. I wont stand in your way. Thank Mr. and Mrs. Cass.”

28Eppie took her hand from her fathers head, and came forward a step. Her cheeks were flushed, but not with shyness this time: the sense that her father was in doubt and suffering banished that sort of self-consciousness. She dropped a low curtsy, first to Mrs. Cass and then to Mr. Cass, and said

29Thank you, maamthank you, sir. But I cant leave my father, nor own anybody nearer than him. And I dont want to be a ladythank you all the same” (here Eppie dropped another curtsy). I couldn’t give up the folks Ive been used to.”

30Eppie’s lips began to tremble a little at the last words. She retreated to her fathers chair again, and held him round the neck: while Silas, with a subdued sob, put up his hand to grasp hers.

31The tears were in Nancys eyes, but her sympathy with Eppie was, naturally, divided with distress on her husbands account. She dared not speak, wondering what was going on in her husbands mind.

32Godfrey felt an irritation inevitable to almost all of us when we encounter an unexpected obstacle. He had been full of his own penitence and resolution to retrieve his error as far as the time was left to him; he was possessed with all-important feelings, that were to lead to a predetermined course of action which he had fixed on as the right, and he was not prepared to enter with lively appreciation into other peoples feelings counteracting his virtuous resolves. The agitation with which he spoke again was not quite unmixed with anger.

33But Ive a claim on you, Eppie—the strongest of all claims. Its my duty, Marner, to own Eppie as my child, and provide for her. She is my own childher mother was my wife. Ive a natural claim on her that must stand before every other.”

34Eppie had given a violent start, and turned quite pale. Silas, on the contrary, who had been relieved, by Eppie’s answer, from the dread lest his mind should be in opposition to hers, felt the spirit of resistance in him set free, not without a touch of parental fierceness. Then, sir,” he answered, with an accent of bitterness that had been silent in him since the memorable day when his youthful hope had perished—“then, sir, why didn’t you say so sixteen year ago, and claim her before Id come to love her, istead ocoming to take her from me now, when you might as well take the heart out omy body? God gave her to me because you turned your back upon her, and He looks upon her as mine: youve no right to her! When a man turns a blessing from his door, it falls to them as take it in.”

35I know that, Marner. I was wrong. Ive repented of my conduct in that matter,” said Godfrey, who could not help feeling the edge of Silas’s words.

36Im glad to hear it, sir,” said Marner, with gathering excitement; “but repentance doesn’t alter whats been going on for sixteen year. Your coming now and sayingIm her father’ doesn’t alter the feelings inside us. Its me shes been calling her father ever since she could say the word.”

37But I think you might look at the thing more reasonably, Marner,” said Godfrey, unexpectedly awed by the weavers direct truth-speaking. It isn’t as if she was to be taken quite away from you, so that youd never see her again. Shell be very near you, and come to see you very often. Shell feel just the same towards you.”

38Just the same?” said Marner, more bitterly than ever. Howll she feel just the same for me as she does now, when we eat othe same bit, and drink othe same cup, and think othe same things from one days end to another? Just the same? thats idle talk. Youd cut us itwo.”

39Godfrey, unqualified by experience to discern the pregnancy of Marner’s simple words, felt rather angry again. It seemed to him that the weaver was very selfish (a judgment readily passed by those who have never tested their own power of sacrifice) to oppose what was undoubtedly for Eppie’s welfare; and he felt himself called upon, for her sake, to assert his authority.

40I should have thought, Marner,” he said, severely—“I should have thought your affection for Eppie would make you rejoice in what was for her good, even if it did call upon you to give up something. You ought to remember your own lifes uncertain, and shes at an age now when her lot may soon be fixed in a way very different from what it would be in her fathers home: she may marry some low working-man, and then, whatever I might do for her, I couldn’t make her well-off. Youre putting yourself in the way of her welfare; and though Im sorry to hurt you after what youve done, and what Ive left undone, I feel now its my duty to insist on taking care of my own daughter. I want to do my duty.”

41It would be difficult to say whether it were Silas or Eppie that was more deeply stirred by this last speech of Godfreys. Thought had been very busy in Eppie as she listened to the contest between her old long-loved father and this new unfamiliar father who had suddenly come to fill the place of that black featureless shadow which had held the ring and placed it on her mothers finger. Her imagination had darted backward in conjectures, and forward in previsions, of what this revealed fatherhood implied; and there were words in Godfreys last speech which helped to make the previsions especially definite. Not that these thoughts, either of past or future, determined her resolutionthat was determined by the feelings which vibrated to every word Silas had uttered; but they raised, even apart from these feelings, a repulsion towards the offered lot and the newly-revealed father.

42Silas, on the other hand, was again stricken in conscience, and alarmed lest Godfreys accusation should be truelest he should be raising his own will as an obstacle to Eppie’s good. For many moments he was mute, struggling for the self-conquest necessary to the uttering of the difficult words. They came out tremulously.

43Ill say no more. Let it be as you will. Speak to the child. Ill hinder nothing.”

44Even Nancy, with all the acute sensibility of her own affections, shared her husbands view, that Marner was not justifiable in his wish to retain Eppie, after her real father had avowed himself. She felt that it was a very hard trial for the poor weaver, but her code allowed no question that a father by blood must have a claim above that of any foster-father. Besides, Nancy, used all her life to plenteous circumstances and the privileges ofrespectability,” could not enter into the pleasures which early nurture and habit connect with all the little aims and efforts of the poor who are born poor: to her mind, Eppie, in being restored to her birthright, was entering on a too long withheld but unquestionable good. Hence she heard Silas’s last words with relief, and thought, as Godfrey did, that their wish was achieved.

45“Eppie, my dear,” said Godfrey, looking at his daughter, not without some embarrassment, under the sense that she was old enough to judge him, “itll always be our wish that you should show your love and gratitude to one whos been a father to you so many years, and we shall want to help you to make him comfortable in every way. But we hope youll come to love us as well; and though I havent been what a father should habeen to you all these years, I wish to do the utmost in my power for you for the rest of my life, and provide for you as my only child. And youll have the best of mothers in my wifethatll be a blessing you havent known since you were old enough to know it.”

46My dear, youll be a treasure to me,” said Nancy, in her gentle voice. We shall want for nothing when we have our daughter.”

47Eppie did not come forward and curtsy, as she had done before. She held Silas’s hand in hers, and grasped it firmlyit was a weavers hand, with a palm and finger-tips that were sensitive to such pressurewhile she spoke with colder decision than before.

48Thank you, maamthank you, sir, for your offerstheyre very great, and far above my wish. For I should have no delight ilife any more if I was forced to go away from my father, and knew he was sitting at home, a-thinking of me and feeling lone. Weve been used to be happy together every day, and I cant think ono happiness without him. And he says hed nobody ithe world till I was sent to him, and hed have nothing when I was gone. And hes took care of me and loved me from the first, and Ill cleave to him as long as he lives, and nobody shall ever come between him and me.”

49But you must make sure, Eppie,” said Silas, in a low voice—“you must make sure as you wont ever be sorry, because youve made your choice to stay among poor folks, and with poor clothes and things, when you might hahad everything othe best.”

50His sensitiveness on this point had increased as he listened to Eppie’s words of faithful affection.

51I can never be sorry, father,” said Eppie. I shouldn’t know what to think on or to wish for with fine things about me, as I havent been used to. And it ’ud be poor work for me to put on things, and ride in a gig, and sit in a place at church, as ’ud make them as Im fond of think me unfitting company forem. What could I care for then?”

52Nancy looked at Godfrey with a pained questioning glance. But his eyes were fixed on the floor, where he was moving the end of his stick, as if he were pondering on something absently. She thought there was a word which might perhaps come better from her lips than from his.

53What you say is natural, my dear childits natural you should cling to those whove brought you up,” she said, mildly; “but theres a duty you owe to your lawful father. Theres perhaps something to be given up on more sides than one. When your father opens his home to you, I think its right you shouldn’t turn your back on it.”

54I cant feel as Ive got any father but one,” said Eppie, impetuously, while the tears gathered. Ive always thought of a little home where hed sit ithe corner, and I should fend and do everything for him: I cant think ono other home. I wasn’t brought up to be a lady, and I cant turn my mind to it. I like the working-folks, and their victuals, and their ways. And,” she ended passionately, while the tears fell, “Im promised to marry a working-man, asll live with father, and help me to take care of him.”

55Godfrey looked up at Nancy with a flushed face and smarting dilated eyes. This frustration of a purpose towards which he had set out under the exalted consciousness that he was about to compensate in some degree for the greatest demerit of his life, made him feel the air of the room stifling.

56Let us go,” he said, in an under-tone.

57We wont talk of this any longer now,” said Nancy, rising. Were your well-wishers, my dearand yours too, Marner. We shall come and see you again. Its getting late now.”

58In this way she covered her husbands abrupt departure, for Godfrey had gone straight to the door, unable to say more.