1Alices Evidence

2Here!” cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the moment how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads of the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding her very much of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset the week before.

3Oh, I beg your pardon!” she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay, and began picking them up again as quickly as she could, for the accident of the goldfish kept running in her head, and she had a vague sort of idea that they must be collected at once and put back into the jury-box, or they would die.

4The trial cannot proceed,” said the King in a very grave voice, “until all the jurymen are back in their proper placesall,” he repeated with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as he said so.

5Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she had put the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing was waving its tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable to move. She soon got it out again, and put it right; “not that it signifies much,” she said to herself; “I should think it would be quite as much use in the trial one way up as the other.”

6As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and handed back to them, they set to work very diligently to write out a history of the accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed too much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth open, gazing up into the roof of the court.

7What do you know about this business?” the King said to Alice.

8Nothing,” said Alice.

9Nothing whatever?” persisted the King.

10Nothing whatever,” said Alice.

11Thats very important,” the King said, turning to the jury. They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when the White Rabbit interrupted: “Unimportant, your Majesty means, of course,” he said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as he spoke.

12Unimportant, of course, I meant,” the King hastily said, and went on to himself in an undertone,

13importantunimportantunimportantimportant—” as if he were trying which word sounded best.

14Some of the jury wrote it downimportant,” and someunimportant.” Alice could see this, as she was near enough to look over their slates; “but it doesn’t matter a bit,” she thought to herself.

15At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily writing in his note-book, cackled outSilence!” and read out from his book, “Rule Forty-two. All persons more than a mile high to leave the court.”

16Everybody looked at Alice.

17Im not a mile high,” said Alice.

18You are,” said the King.

19Nearly two miles high,” added the Queen.

20Well, I shan’t go, at any rate,” said Alice: “besides, thats not a regular rule: you invented it just now.”

21Its the oldest rule in the book,” said the King.

22Then it ought to be Number One,” said Alice.

23The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily. Consider your verdict,” he said to the jury, in a low, trembling voice.

24Theres more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,” said the White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; “this paper has just been picked up.”

25Whats in it?” said the Queen.

26I havent opened it yet,” said the White Rabbit, “but it seems to be a letter, written by the prisoner toto somebody.”

27It must have been that,” said the King, “unless it was written to nobody, which isn’t usual, you know.”

28Who is it directed to?” said one of the jurymen.

29It isn’t directed at all,” said the White Rabbit; “in fact, theres nothing written on the outside.” He unfolded the paper as he spoke, and addedIt isn’t a letter, after all: its a set of verses.”

30Are they in the prisoners handwriting?” asked another of the jurymen.

31No, theyre not,” said the White Rabbit, “and thats the queerest thing about it.” (The jury all looked puzzled.)

32He must have imitated somebody elses hand,” said the King. (The jury all brightened up again.)

33Please your Majesty,” said the Knave, “I didn’t write it, and they cant prove I did: theres no name signed at the end.”

34If you didn’t sign it,” said the King, “that only makes the matter worse. You must have meant some mischief, or else youd have signed your name like an honest man.”

35There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the first really clever thing the King had said that day.

36That proves his guilt,” said the Queen.

37It proves nothing of the sort!” said Alice. Why, you dont even know what theyre about!”

38Read them,” said the King.

39The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?” he asked.

40Begin at the beginning,” the King said gravely, “and go on till you come to the end: then stop.”

41These were the verses the White Rabbit read:—

42They told me you had been to her,

43And mentioned me to him:

44She gave me a good character,

45But said I could not swim.

46He sent them word I had not gone

47(We know it to be true):

48If she should push the matter on,

49What would become of you?

50I gave her one, they gave him two,

51You gave us three or more;

52They all returned from him to you,

53Though they were mine before.

54If I or she should chance to be

55Involved in this affair,

56He trusts to you to set them free,

57Exactly as we were.

58My notion was that you had been

59(Before she had this fit)

60An obstacle that came between

61Him, and ourselves, and it.

62Dont let him know she liked them best,

63For this must ever be

64A secret, kept from all the rest,

65Between yourself and me.

66Thats the most important piece of evidence weve heard yet,” said the King, rubbing his hands; “so now let the jury—”

67If any one of them can explain it,” said Alice, (she had grown so large in the last few minutes that she wasn’t a bit afraid of interrupting him,) “Ill give him sixpence. I dont believe theres an atom of meaning in it.”

68The jury all wrote down on their slates, “She doesn’t believe theres an atom of meaning in it,” but none of them attempted to explain the paper.

69If theres no meaning in it,” said the King, “that saves a world of trouble, you know, as we needn’t try to find any. And yet I dont know,” he went on, spreading out the verses on his knee, and looking at them with one eye; “I seem to see some meaning in them, after all. “—said I could not swim—” you cant swim, can you? he added, turning to the Knave.

70The Knave shook his head sadly. Do I look like it?” he said. (Which he certainly did not, being made entirely of cardboard.)

71All right, so far,” said the King, and he went on muttering over the verses to himself: “‘We know it to be true—’ thats the jury, of course—‘I gave her one, they gave him two—’ why, that must be what he did with the tarts, you know—”

72But, it goes onthey all returned from him to you,’” said Alice.

73Why, there they are!” said the King triumphantly, pointing to the tarts on the table. Nothing can be clearer than that. Then again—‘before she had this fit—’ you never had fits, my dear, I think?” he said to the Queen.

74Never!” said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the Lizard as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left off writing on his slate with one finger, as he found it made no mark; but he now hastily began again, using the ink, that was trickling down his face, as long as it lasted.)

75Then the words dont fit you,” said the King, looking round the court with a smile. There was a dead silence.

76Its a pun!” the King added in an offended tone, and everybody laughed, “Let the jury consider their verdict,” the King said, for about the twentieth time that day.

77No, no!” said the Queen. Sentence firstverdict afterwards.”

78Stuff and nonsense!” said Alice loudly. The idea of having the sentence first!”

79Hold your tongue!” said the Queen, turning purple.

80I wont!” said Alice.

81Off with her head!” the Queen shouted at the top of her voice. Nobody moved.

82Who cares for you?” said Alice, (she had grown to her full size by this time.) “Youre nothing but a pack of cards!”

83At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying down upon her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and half of anger, and tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on the bank, with her head in the lap of her sister, who was gently brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from the trees upon her face.

84Wake up, Alice dear!” said her sister; “Why, what a long sleep youve had!”

85Oh, Ive had such a curious dream!” said Alice, and she told her sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange Adventures of hers that you have just been reading about; and when she had finished, her sister kissed her, and said, “It was a curious dream, dear, certainly: but now run in to your tea; its getting late.” So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she ran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream it had been.

86But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her head on her hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of little Alice and all her wonderful Adventures, till she too began dreaming after a fashion, and this was her dream:—

87First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the tiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes were looking up into hersshe could hear the very tones of her voice, and see that queer little toss of her head to keep back the wandering hair that would always get into her eyesand still as she listened, or seemed to listen, the whole place around her became alive with the strange creatures of her little sisters dream.

88The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried bythe frightened Mouse splashed his way through the neighbouring poolshe could hear the rattle of the teacups as the March Hare and his friends shared their never-ending meal, and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering off her unfortunate guests to executiononce more the pig-baby was sneezing on the Duchesss knee, while plates and dishes crashed around itonce more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizards slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs, filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable Mock Turtle.

89So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, and all would change to dull realitythe grass would be only rustling in the wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of the reedsthe rattling teacups would change to tinkling sheep-bells, and the Queens shrill cries to the voice of the shepherd boyand the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, and all the other queer noises, would change (she knew) to the confused clamour of the busy farm-yardwhile the lowing of the cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtles heavy sobs.

90Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather about her other little children, and make their eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days.