34. CHAPTER XXXIV

Howards End / 霍华德庄园

1It was not unexpected entirely. Aunt Juley’s health had been bad all winter. She had had a long series of colds and coughs, and had been too busy to get rid of them. She had scarcely promised her nieceto really take my tiresome chest in hand,” when she caught a chill and developed acute pneumonia. Margaret and Tibby went down to Swanage. Helen was telegraphed for, and that spring party that after all gathered in that hospitable house had all the pathos of fair memories. On a perfect day, when the sky seemed blue porcelain, and the waves of the discreet little bay beat gentlest of tattoos upon the sand, Margaret hurried up through the rhododendrons, confronted again by the senselessness of Death. One death may explain itself, but it throws no light upon another; the groping inquiry must begin anew. Preachers or scientists may generalise, but we know that no generality is possible about those whom we love; not one heaven awaits them, not even one oblivion. Aunt Juley, incapable of tragedy, slipped out of life with odd little laughs and apologies for having stopped in it so long. She was very weak; she could not rise to the occasion, or realise the great mystery which all agree must await her; it only seemed to her that she was quite done upmore done up than ever before; that she saw and heard and felt less every moment; and that, unless something changed, she would soon feel nothing. Her spare strength she devoted to plans: could not Margaret take some steamer expeditions? were mackerel cooked as Tibby liked them? She worried herself about Helens absence, and also that she should be the cause of Helens return. The nurses seemed to think such interests quite natural, and perhaps hers was an average approach to the Great Gate. But Margaret saw Death stripped of any false romance; whatever the idea of Death may contain, the process can be trivial and hideous.

2ImportantMargaret dear, take the Lulworth when Helen comes.”

3Helen wont be able to stop, Aunt Juley. She has telegraphed that she can only get away just to see you. She must go back to Germany as soon as you are well.”

4How very odd of Helen! Mr. Wilcox—”

5Yes, dear?”

6Can he spare you?”

7Henry wished her to come, and had been very kind. Yet again Margaret said so.

8Mrs. Munt did not die. Quite outside her will, a more dignified power took hold of her and checked her on the downward slope. She returned, without emotion, as fidgety as ever. On the fourth day she was out of danger.

9Margaretimportant,” it went on: “I should like you to have some companion to take walks with. Do try Miss Conder.”

10I have been for a little walk with Miss Conder.”

11But she is not really interesting. If only you had Helen.”

12I have Tibby, Aunt Juley.”

13No, but he has to do his Chinese. Some real companion is what you need. Really, Helen is odd.”

14Helen is odd, very,” agreed Margaret.

15Not content with going abroad, why does she want to go back there at once?”

16No doubt she will change her mind when she sees us. She has not the least balance.”

17That was the stock criticism about Helen, but Margarets voice trembled as she made it. By now she was deeply pained at her sisters behaviour. It may be unbalanced to fly out of England, but to stay away eight months argues that the heart is awry as well as the head. A sick-bed could recall Helen, but she was deaf to more human calls; after a glimpse at her aunt, she would retire into her nebulous life behind some poste restante. She scarcely existed; her letters had become dull and infrequent; she had no wants and no curiosity. And it was all put down to poor Henrys account! Henry, long pardoned by his wife, was still too infamous to be greeted by his sister-in-law. It was morbid, and, to her alarm, Margaret fancied that she could trace the growth of morbidity back in Helens life for nearly four years. The flight from Oniton; the unbalanced patronage of the Basts; the explosion of grief up on the Downsall connected with Paul, an insignificant boy whose lips had kissed hers for a fraction of time. Margaret and Mrs. Wilcox had feared that they might kiss again. Foolishlythe real danger was reaction. Reaction against the Wilcoxes had eaten into her life until she was scarcely sane. At twenty-five she had an idee fixe. What hope was there for her as an old woman?

18The more Margaret thought about it the more alarmed she became. For many months she had put the subject away, but it was too big to be slighted now. There was almost a taint of madness. Were all Helens actions to be governed by a tiny mishap, such as may happen to any young man or woman? Can human nature be constructed on lines so insignificant? The blundering little encounter at Howards End was vital. It propagated itself where graver intercourse lay barren; it was stronger than sisterly intimacy, stronger than reason or books. In one of her moods Helen had confessed that she stillenjoyedit in a certain sense. Paul had faded, but the magic of his caress endured. And where there is enjoyment of the past there may also be reactionpropagation at both ends.

19Well, it is odd and sad that our minds should be such seed-beds, and we without power to choose the seed. But man is an odd, sad creature as yet, intent on pilfering the earth, and heedless of the growths within himself. He cannot be bored about psychology. He leaves it to the specialist, which is as if he should leave his dinner to be eaten by a steam-engine. He cannot be bothered to digest his own soul. Margaret and Helen have been more patient, and it is suggested that Margaret has succeededso far as success is yet possible. She does understand herself, she has some rudimentary control over her own growth. Whether Helen has succeeded one cannot say.

20The day that Mrs. Munt rallied Helens letter arrived. She had posted it at Munich, and would be in London herself on the morrow. It was a disquieting letter, though the opening was affectionate and sane.

21DEAREST MEG,

22Give Helens love to Aunt Juley. Tell her that I love, and have loved her ever since I can remember. I shall be in London Thursday.

23My address will be care of the bankers. I have not yet settled on a hotel, so write or wire to me there and give me detailed news. If Aunt Juley is much better, or if, for a terrible reason, it would be no good my coming down to Swanage, you must not think it odd if I do not come. I have all sorts of plans in my head. I am living abroad at present, and want to get back as quickly as possible. Will you please tell me where our furniture is? I should like to take out one or two books; the rest are for you.

24Forgive me, dearest Meg. This must read like rather a tiresome letter, but all letters are from your loving

25HELEN.”

26It was a tiresome letter, for it tempted Margaret to tell a lie. If she wrote that Aunt Juley was still in danger her sister would come. Unhealthiness is contagious. We cannot be in contact with those who are in a morbid state without ourselves deteriorating. Toact for the bestmight do Helen good, but would do herself harm, and, at the risk of disaster, she kept her colours flying a little longer. She replied that their aunt was much better, and awaited developments.

27Tibby approved of her reply. Mellowing rapidly, he was a pleasanter companion than before. Oxford had done much for him. He had lost his peevishness, and could hide his indifference to people and his interest in food. But he had not grown more human. The years between eighteen and twenty-two, so magical for most, were leading him gently from boyhood to middle age. He had never known young-manliness, that quality which warms the heart till death, and gives Mr. Wilcox an imperishable charm. He was frigid, through no fault of his own, and without cruelty. He thought Helen wrong and Margaret right, but the family trouble was for him what a scene behind footlights is for most people. He had only one suggestion to make, and that was characteristic.

28Why dont you tell Mr. Wilcox?”

29About Helen?”

30Perhaps he has come across that sort of thing.”

31He would do all he could, but—”

32Oh, you know best. But he is practical.”

33It was the students belief in experts. Margaret demurred for one or two reasons. Presently Helens answer came. She sent a telegram requesting the address of the furniture, as she would now return at once. Margaret replied, “Certainly not; meet me at the bankersat four.” She and Tibby went up to London. Helen was not at the bankers’, and they were refused her address. Helen had passed into chaos.

34Margaret put her arm round her brother. He was all that she had left, and never had he seemed more unsubstantial.

35“Tibby love, what next?”

36He replied: “It is extraordinary.”

37Dear, your judgments often clearer than mine. Have you any notion whats at the back?”

38None, unless its something mental.”

39Ohthat!” said Margaret. “Quite impossible.” But the suggestion had been uttered, and in a few minutes she took it up herself. Nothing else explained. And London agreed with Tibby. The mask fell off the city, and she saw it for what it really isa caricature of infinity. The familiar barriers, the streets along which she moved, the houses between which she had made her little journeys for so many years, became negligible suddenly. Helen seemed one with grimy trees and the traffic and the slowly-flowing slabs of mud. She had accomplished a hideous act of renunciation and returned to the One. Margarets own faith held firm. She knew the human soul will be merged, if it be merged at all, with the stars and the sea. Yet she felt that her sister had been going amiss for many years. It was symbolic the catastrophe should come now, on a London afternoon, while rain fell slowly.

40Henry was the only hope. Henry was definite. He might know of some paths in the chaos that were hidden from them, and she determined to take Tibby’s advice and lay the whole matter in his hands. They must call at his office. He could not well make it worse. She went for a few moments into St. Pauls, whose dome stands out of the welter so bravely, as if preaching the gospel of form. But within, St. Pauls is as its surroundingsechoes and whispers, inaudible songs, invisible mosaics, wet footmarks, crossing and recrossing the floor. Si monumentum requiris, circumspice; it points us back to London. There was no hope of Helen here.

41Henry was unsatisfactory at first. That she had expected. He was overjoyed to see her back from Swanage, and slow to admit the growth of a new trouble. When they told him of their search, he only chaffed Tibby and the Schlegels generally, and declared that it wasjust like Helento lead her relatives a dance.

42That is what we all say,” replied Margaret. But why should it be just like Helen? Why should she be allowed to be so queer, and to grow queerer?”

43Dont ask me. Im a plain man of business. I live and let live. My advice to you both is, dont worry. Margaret, youve got black marks again under your eyes. You know thats strictly forbidden. First your auntthen your sister. No, we aren’t going to have it. Are we, Theobald?” He rang the bell. Ill give you some tea, and then you go straight to Ducie Street. I cant have my girl looking as old as her husband.”

44All the same, you have not quite seen our point,” said Tibby.

45Mr. Wilcox, who was in good spirits, retorted, “I dont suppose I ever shall.” He leant back, laughing at the gifted but ridiculous family, while the fire flickered over the map of Africa. Margaret motioned to her brother to go on. Rather diffident, he obeyed her.

46Margarets point is this,” he said. Our sister may be mad.”

47Charles, who was working in the inner room, looked round.

48Come in, Charles,” said Margaret kindly. Could you help us at all? We are again in trouble.”

49Im afraid I cannot. What are the facts? We are all mad more or less, you know, in these days.”

50The facts are as follows,” replied Tibby, who had at times a pedantic lucidity. The facts are that she has been in England for three days and will not see us. She has forbidden the bankers to give us her address. She refuses to answer questions. Margaret finds her letters colourless. There are other facts, but these are the most striking.”

51She has never behaved like this before, then?” asked Henry.

52Of course not!” said his wife, with a frown.

53Well, my dear, how am I to know?”

54A senseless spasm of annoyance came over her. You know quite well that Helen never sins against affection,” she said. You must have noticed that much in her, surely.”

55Oh yes; she and I have always hit it off together.”

56No, Henrycant you see?—I dont mean that.”

57She recovered herself, but not before Charles had observed her. Stupid and attentive, he was watching the scene.

58I was meaning that when she was eccentric in the past, one could trace it back to the heart in the long-run. She behaved oddly because she cared for some one, or wanted to help them. Theres no possible excuse for her now. She is grieving us deeply, and that is why I am sure that she is not well. ‘Madis too terrible a word, but she is not well. I shall never believe it. I shouldn’t discuss my sister with you if I thought she was welltrouble you about her, I mean.”

59Henry began to grow serious. Ill-health was to him something perfectly definite. Generally well himself, he could not realise that we sink to it by slow gradations. The sick had no rights; they were outside the pale; one could lie to them remorselessly. When his first wife was seized, he had promised to take her down into Hertfordshire, but meanwhile arranged with a nursing-home instead. Helen, too, was ill. And the plan that he sketched out for her capture, clever and well-meaning as it was, drew its ethics from the wolf-pack.

60You want to get hold of her?” he said. Thats the problem, isn’t it? She has got to see a doctor.”

61For all I know she has seen one already.”

62Yes, yes; dont interrupt.” He rose to his feet and thought intently. The genial, tentative host disappeared, and they saw instead the man who had carved money out of Greece and Africa, and bought forests from the natives for a few bottles of gin. Ive got it,” he said at last. Its perfectly easy. Leave it to me. Well send her down to Howards End.”

63How will you do that?”

64After her books. Tell her that she must unpack them herself. Then you can meet her there.”

65But, Henry, thats just what she wont let me do. Its part of herwhatever it isnever to see me.”

66Of course you wont tell her youre going. When she is there, looking at the cases, youll just stroll in. If nothing is wrong with her, so much the better. But therell be the motor round the corner, and we can run her to a specialist in no time.”

67Margaret shook her head. Its quite impossible.”

68Why?”

69It doesn’t seem impossible to me,” said Tibby; “it is surely a very tippy plan.”

70It is impossible, because—” She looked at her husband sadly. Its not the particular language that Helen and I talk, if you see my meaning. It would do splendidly for other people, whom I dont blame.”

71But Helen doesn’t talk,” said Tibby. Thats our whole difficulty. She wont talk your particular language, and on that account you think shes ill.”

72No, Henry; its sweet of you, but I couldn’t.”

73I see,” he said; “you have scruples.”

74I suppose so.”

75And sooner than go against them you would have your sister suffer. You could have got her down to Swanage by a word, but you had scruples. And scruples are all very well. I am as scrupulous as any man alive, I hope; but when it is a case like this, when there is a question of madness—”

76I deny its madness.”

77You said just now—”

78Its madness when I say it, but not when you say it.”

79Henry shrugged his shoulders. Margaret! Margaret!” he groaned. No education can teach a woman logic. Now, my dear, my time is valuable. Do you want me to help you or not?”

80Not in that way.”

81Answer my question. Plain question, plain answer. Do—”

82Charles surprised them by interrupting. Pater, we may as well keep Howards End out of it,” he said.

83Why, Charles?”

84Charles could give no reason; but Margaret felt as if, over tremendous distance, a salutation had passed between them.

85The whole house is at sixes and sevens,” he said crossly. We dont want any more mess.”

86Whoswe’?” asked his father. My boy, pray whoswe’?”

87I am sure I beg your pardon,” said Charles. I appear always to be intruding.”

88By now Margaret wished she had never mentioned her trouble to her husband. Retreat was impossible. He was determined to push the matter to a satisfactory conclusion, and Helen faded as he talked. Her fair, flying hair and eager eyes counted for nothing, for she was ill, without rights, and any of her friends might hunt her. Sick at heart, Margaret joined in the chase. She wrote her sister a lying letter, at her husbands dictation; she said the furniture was all at Howards End, but could be seen on Monday next at 3 P.M., when a charwoman would be in attendance. It was a cold letter, and the more plausible for that. Helen would think she was offended. And on Monday next she and Henry were to lunch with Dolly, and then ambush themselves in the garden.

89After they had gone, Mr. Wilcox said to his son: “I cant have this sort of behaviour, my boy. Margarets too sweet-natured to mind, but I mind for her.”

90Charles made no answer.

91Is anything wrong with you, Charles, this afternoon?”

92No, pater; but you may be taking on a bigger business than you reckon.”

93How?”

94Dont ask me.”