51. VARDAMAN
AS I LAY DYING / 我弥留之际1WHEN I went to find where they stay at night, I saw something. They said, “Where is Darl? Where did Darl go?”
2They carried her back under the apple tree.
3The barn was still red, but it wasn’t a barn now. It was sunk down, and the red went swirling up. The barn went swirling up in little red pieces, against the sky and the stars so that the stars moved backward.
4And then Cash was still awake. He turned his head from side to side, with sweat on his face.
5“Do you want some more water on it, Cash?” Dewey Dell said.
6Cash’s leg and foot turned black. We held the lamp and looked at Cash’s foot and leg where it was black.
7“Your foot looks like a nigger’s foot, Cash,” I said.
8“I reckon we’ll have to bust it off,” pa said.
9“What in the tarnation you put it on there for?” Mr. Gillespie said.
10“I thought it would steady it some,” pa said. “I just aimed to help him.”
11They got the flat iron and the hammer. Dewey Dell held the lamp. They had to hit it hard. And then Cash went to sleep.
12“He’s asleep now,” I said. “It can’t hurt him while he’s asleep.”
13It just cracked. It wouldn’t come off.
14“It’ll take the hide, too,” Mr. Gillespie said. “Why in the tarnation you put it on there? Didn’t none of you think to grease his leg first?”
15“I just aimed to help him,” pa said. “It was Darl put it on.”
16“Where is Darl?” they said.
17“Didn’t none of you have more sense than that?” Mr. Gillespie said. “I’d ’a’ thought he would, anyway.”
18Jewel was lying on his face. His back was red. Dewey Dell put the medicine on it. The medicine was made out of butter and soot, to draw out the fire. Then his back was black.
19“Does it hurt, Jewel?” I said. “Your back looks like a nigger’s, Jewel,” I said. Cash’s foot and leg looked like a nigger’s. Then they broke it off. Cash’s leg bled.
20“You go on back and lay down,” Dewey Dell said. “You ought to be asleep.”
21“Where is Darl?” they said.
22He is out there under the apple tree with her, lying on her. He is there so the cat won’t come back. I said, “Are you going to keep the cat away, Darl?”
23The moonlight dappled on him too. On her it was still, but on Darl it dappled up and down.
24“You needn’t to cry,” I said. “Jewel got her out. You needn’t to cry, Darl.”
25The barn is still red. It used to be redder than this. Then it went swirling, making the stars run backward without falling. It hurt my heart like the train did.
26When I went to find where they stay at night, I saw something that Dewey Dell says I mustn’t never tell nobody.