44. VARDAMAN
AS I LAY DYING / 我弥留之际1NOW there are seven of them, in little tall black circles.
2“Look, Darl,” I say; “see?”
3He looks up. We watch them in little tall black circles of not-moving.
4“Yesterday there were just four,” I say.
5There were more than four on the barn.
6“Do you know what I would do if he tries to light on the wagon again?” I say.
7“What would you do?” Darl says.
8“I wouldn’t let him light on her,” I say. “I wouldn’t let him light on Cash, either.”
9Cash is sick. He is sick on the box. But my mother is a fish.
10“We got to get some medicine in Mottson,” pa says. “I reckon we’ll just have to.”
11“How do you feel, Cash?” Darl says.
12“It don’t bother none,” Cash says.
13“Do you want it propped a little higher?” Darl says.
14Cash has a broken leg. He has had two broken legs. He lies on the box with a quilt rolled under his head and a piece of wood under his knee.
15“I reckon we ought to left him at Armstid’s,” pa says.
16I haven’t got a broken leg and pa hasn’t and Darl hasn’t and “It’s just the bumps,” Cash says. “It kind of grinds together a little on a bump. I don’t bother none.” Jewel has gone away. He and his horse went away one supper time.
17“It’s because she wouldn’t have us beholden,” pa says. “ ’Fore God, I do the best that ere a man.” Is it because Jewel’s mother is a horse, Darl? I said.
18“Maybe I can draw the ropes a little tighter,” Darl says. That’s why Jewel and I were both in the shed and she was in the wagon because the horse lives in the barn and I had to keep on running the bustard away from
19“If you just would,” Cash says. And Dewey Dell hasn’t got a broken leg and I haven’t. Cash is my brother.
20We stop. When Darl loosens the rope Cash begins to sweat again. His teeth look out.
21“Hurt?” Darl says.
22“I reckon you better put it back,” Cash says.
23Darl puts the rope back, pulling hard. Cash’s teeth look out.
24“Hurt?” Darl says.
25“It don’t bother none,” Cash says.
26“Do you want pa to drive slower?” Darl says.
27“No,” Cash says. “Ain’t no time to hang back. It don’t bother none.”
28“We’ll have to get some medicine at Mottson,” pa says. “I reckon we’ll have to.”
29“Tell him to go on,” Cash says. We go on. Dewey Dell leans back and wipes Cash’s face. Cash is my brother. But Jewel’s mother is a horse. My mother is a fish. Darl says that when we come to the water again I might see her and Dewey Dell said, She’s in the box; how could she have got out? She got out through the holes I bored, into the water I said, and when we come to the water again I am going to see her. My mother is not in the box. My mother does not smell like that. My mother is a fish.
30“Those cakes will be in fine shape by the time we get to Jefferson,” Darl says.
31Dewey Dell does not look around.
32“You better try to sell them in Mottson,” Darl says.
33“When will we get to Mottson, Darl?” I say.
34“To-morrow,” Darl says. “If this team don’t tack to pieces. Snopes must have fed them on sawdust.”
35“Why did he feed them on sawdust, Darl?” I say.
36“Look,” Darl says. “See?”
37Now there are nine of them, tall in little tall black circles.
38When we come to the foot of the hill pa stops and Darl and Dewey Dell and I get out. Cash can’t walk because he has a broken leg. “Come up, mules,” pa says. The mules walk hard; the wagon creaks. Darl and Dewey Dell and I walk behind the wagon, up the hill. When we come to the top of the hill pa stops and we get back into the wagon.
39Now there are ten of them, tall in little tall black circles on the sky.