3. HILLS LIKE WHITE ELEPHANTS

Men without women / 没有女人的男人们

1The hills across the valley of the Ebro were long and white. On this side there was no shade and no trees and the station was between two lines of rails in the sun. Close against the side of the station there was the warm shadow of the building and a curtain, made of strings of bamboo beads, hung across the open door into the bar, to keep out flies. The American and the girl with him sat at a table in the shade, outside the building. It was very hot and the express from Barcelona would come in forty minutes. It stopped at this junction for two minutes and went on to Madrid.

2What should we drink?” the girl asked. She had taken off her hat and put it on the table.

3Its pretty hot,” the man said.

4Lets drink beer.”

5Dos cervezas,” the man said into the curtain.

6Big ones?” a woman asked from the doorway.

7Yes. Two big ones.”

8The woman brought two glasses of beer and two felt pads. She put the felt pads and the beer glasses on the table and looked at the man and the girl. The girl was looking off at the line of hills. They were white in the sun and the country was brown and dry.

9They look like white elephants,” she said.

10Ive never seen one,” the man drank his beer.

11No, you wouldn’t have.”

12I might have,” the man said. Just because you say I wouldn’t have doesn’t prove anything.”

13The girl looked at the bead curtain. Theyve painted something on it,” she said. What does it say?”

14“Anis del Toro. Its a drink.”

15Could we try it?”

16The man calledListenthrough the curtain. The woman came out from the bar.

17Four reales.”

18We want two Anis del Toro.”

19With water?”

20Do you want it with water?”

21I dont know,” the girl said. Is it good with water?”

22Its all right.”

23You want them with water?” asked the woman.

24Yes, with water.”

25It tastes like licorice,” the girl said and put the glass down.

26Thats the way with everything.”

27Yes,” said the girl. Everything tastes of licorice. Especially all the things youve waited so long for, like absinthe.”

28Oh, cut it out.”

29You started it,” the girl said. I was being amused. I was having a fine time.”

30Well, lets try and have a fine time.”

31All right. I was trying. I said the mountains looked like white elephants. Wasn’t that bright?”

32That was bright.”

33I wanted to try this new drink. Thats all we do, isn’t itlook at things and try new drinks?”

34I guess so.”

35The girl looked across at the hills.

36Theyre lovely hills,” she said. They dont really look like white elephants. I just meant the coloring of their skin through the trees.”

37Should we have another drink?”

38All right.”

39The warm wind blew the bead curtain against the table.

40The beers nice and cool,” the man said.

41Its lovely,” the girl said.

42Its really an awfully simple operation, Jig,” the man said. Its not really an operation at all.”

43The girl looked at the ground the table legs rested on.

44I know you wouldn’t mind it, Jig. Its really not anything. Its just to let the air in.”

45The girl did not say anything.

46Ill go with you and Ill stay with you all the time. They just let the air in and then its all perfectly natural.”

47Then what will we do afterward?”

48Well be fine afterward. Just like we were before.”

49What makes you think so?”

50Thats the only thing that bothers us. Its the only thing thats made us unhappy.”

51The girl looked at the bead curtain, put her hand out and took hold of two of the strings of beads.

52And you think then well be all right and be happy.”

53I know we will. You dont have to be afraid. Ive known lots of people that have done it.”

54So have I,” said the girl. And afterward they were all so happy.”

55Well,” the man said, “if you dont want to you dont have to. I wouldn’t have you do it if you didn’t want to. But I know its perfectly simple.”

56And you really want to?”

57I think its the best thing to do. But I dont want you to do it if you dont really want to.”

58And if I do it youll be happy and things will be like they were and youll love me?”

59I love you now. You know I love you.”

60I know. But if I do it, then it will be nice again if I say things are like white elephants, and youll like it?”

61Ill love it. I love it now but I just cant think about it. You know how I get when I worry.”

62If I do it you wont ever worry?”

63I wont worry about that because its perfectly simple.”

64Then Ill do it. Because I dont care about me.”

65What do you mean?”

66I dont care about me.”

67Well, I care about you.”

68Oh, yes. But I dont care about me. And Ill do it and then everything will be fine.”

69I dont want you to do it if you feel that way.”

70The girl stood up and walked to the end of the station. Across, on the other side, were fields of grain and trees along the banks of the Ebro. Far away, beyond the river, were mountains. The shadow of a cloud moved across the field of grain and she saw the river through the trees.

71And we could have all this,” she said. And we could have everything and every day we make it more impossible.”

72What did you say?”

73I said we could have everything.”

74We can have everything.”

75No, we cant.”

76We can have the whole world.”

77No, we cant.”

78We can go everywhere.”

79No, we cant. It isn’t ours any more.”

80Its ours.”

81No, it isn’t. And once they take it away, you never get it back.”

82But they havent taken it away.”

83Well wait and see.”

84Come on back in the shade,” he said. You mustn’t feel that way.”

85I dont feel any way,” the girl said. I just know things.”

86I dont want you to do anything that you dont want to do——”

87Nor that isn’t good for me,” she said. I know. Could we have another beer?”

88All right. But youve got to realize——”

89I realize,” the girl said. Cant we maybe stop talking?”

90They sat down at the table and the girl looked across at the hills on the dry side of the valley and the man looked at her and at the table.

91Youve got to realize,” he said, “that I dont want you to do it if you dont want to. Im perfectly willing to go through with it if it means anything to you.”

92“Doesn’t it mean anything to you? We could get along.”

93Of course it does. But I dont want anybody but you. I dont want any one else. And I know its perfectly simple.”

94Yes, you know its perfectly simple.”

95Its all right for you to say that, but I do know it.”

96Would you do something for me now?”

97Id do anything for you.”

98Would you please please please please please please please stop talking?”

99He did not say anything but looked at the bags against the wall of the station. There were labels on them from all the hotels where they had spent nights.

100But I dont want you to,” he said, “I dont care anything about it.”

101Ill scream,” the girl said.

102The woman came out through the curtains with two glasses of beer and put them down on the damp felt pads. The train comes in five minutes,” she said.

103What did she say?” asked the girl.

104That the train is coming in five minutes.”

105The girl smiled brightly at the woman, to thank her.

106Id better take the bags over to the other side of the station,” the man said. She smiled at him.

107All right. Then come back and well finish the beer.”

108He picked up the two heavy bags and carried them around the station to the other tracks. He looked up the tracks but could not see the train. Coming back, he walked through the barroom, where people waiting for the train were drinking. He drank an Anis at the bar and looked at the people. They were all waiting reasonably for the train. He went out through the bead curtain. She was sitting at the table and smiled at him.

109Do you feel better?” he asked.

110I feel fine,” she said. Theres nothing wrong with me. I feel fine.”